simple things in life

Change

2008-08-30T02:12:00.003+10:00

After reading the blog posts from Abby and Mel, and seeing how wordpress is so clean-cut and white and pretty. I figured - since their tagging system is so easy and convenient and more so, important for us to keep up with each other's lives, and and - all the compartmentalization of my life =) and pages!

I finally have the heart to give up my power packed imeem list with all - and decided to make this blog a music one linked to my wordpress one. My heart aches. I love the music on my blog - but hey, I can always just come back and tune in.

I like how Abigail paralleled her previous change in blog to her facing a major change in life. I think its so true. Leaving behind those yellow colourful dots which so attracted me when I first saw it, (my impression of it changes as I grow older I believe) I find myself entering a state of clean slate.

Then, I thought on why I even keep a blog - with priority given to keeping my family members, friends, church mates in touch with my life and happenings (so they can keep me in check if need be!). Next, to journal my day to day happenings cos' I tend to forget what happened the day before since everything everyday seems to happen too fast, too quickly for me to digest. Lastly, to journal my growth - physically (dang, I hope not), mentally, and spiritually.

That said - today marks the day I truly step into my pre-walk in that unknown path, as I took out my bible and placed it right into my check-in back pack, Cannie.

Reminding me of the most important thing to not forget to bring.
And giving me the reason not to take it out of my bag and say - there's no space.

Isn't it with life?
Let my new abode remind me never to forget to pack in the most important conversation in any day amidst all the other noisy items I may have in my back pack.

Embrace Change (eeps.)

stephspeaks.wordpress.com

gosh. it's not easy. I love my thoughtsonlife blog. Deep nostalgia indeed. Here's stephspeaks - joining the ranks of abbyspeaks and mellyspeaks.

Here I am

2008-08-26T04:55:00.002+10:00

-after ripping all those sad melodies of youtube videos for the drama kiddos tomorrow. Feeling blue.

There are so many things I want to blog about. Every day - mid-day - I'll come up with the perfect blogpost I want to capture my day in --> then my midnight gets robbed by "admin" time and yes, my perfect blogpost goes poof*.

In random scatter - lest I forget how my time is spent 2 months before I leave -- now 1 month (eeps.) Seriously - everyday passes by without me much remembering it --> cept for Abby's departure =(

1. Abby left =( She left this Sunday morning.
2. DYTM3! =) On saints --> Go DYTM!
3. Council day plus SIMPANG WITH SAMS - and Airport camera excursion!
4. Lunches with Geri and Crystal =)
5. Shopping errands with Abby --> buying of Cabby and Cannie! =)
6. A whole day spent with Jane at NTU! - Followed by Evening mass at NTU and journey home with Pete!
7. Abby's packing day at her house!
8. YC retreat over the last week night

(9..) Me being driven around by Mel! - many times this week --> boy I'm jealous. Though more thankful and grateful and amazed at how fast we've grown than jealous. =)

I shall retreat to my bed now and pray really hard I have the energy to conduct classes for 4 classes tomorrow =(

4 classes.

Oh and guess what - my contract got extended to the last week of my Singapore stay. So much for having enough alone-time with my family!

=(

The only thing I want to share now

2008-08-14T04:10:00.002+10:00

I almost forgot how meaningful this song was after stumbling upon "Journey" - then Lao Er totally reminded me of this song I used to listen.

I used to listen to this song a year ago - only because of its lovely melody coupled with the beautiful Corrinne May and the resplendent scenery she was playing at. It was the video that made me believe that was how I was going to spend my perfect day - in the sun, on a field/hill, somewhere far away from the concrete jungle - seated in a crouched manner - hands holding knees tucked neatly, staring at the magnificence of nature.

A year later - milestones in life all checked and ticked - I look at the song and finally feel the impact of the lyrics. Took me a probe and reminder to take a further look at the lyrics. I remembered tearing at the lyrics previously because it was pure beauty - but now, I do the same - only due to a different reason - how it touches me with not only its beauty but by its sheer ability to describe feeling.

to be honest it won't be as bad for you cos there'll be so much going on
cos well. they'll be back home wondering how you're doing
so you're actually on the better end
-quoth an angel in disguise!

My Driving Weekend.

2008-08-11T02:12:00.004+10:00

My weekend was lovely.

Not because of the driving driving driving! - but also because it was spent beautifully with the people I love! =)

Thursday - Dinner with Ah ling Jie, Er Jie and Da Jie at PP Steamboat. Then driving to Kallang Leisure - where I saw a car hit another! (Esp after I said the car was parking really nicely!) At night, not only was I blessed with friends and tickets to watch JASON MRAZ IN LONDON- I was blessed with interesting conversations! Besides seeing the lovely scenery from Vancouver through the very amazing skype, I also ended up talking to LAO ER! (Gabe) about going to UK, life and just random-ness. It was hilarious - I can't really sleep after that lah!
**Gabe! The sky photo is for you! - Remember the day after evening mass you smsed me to look up! I captured it! -Vermillion crags =)

Friday - spent family time at home and watched the Olympics! (The Opening was amazing. Totally captivating! I like the footprints-fireworks throughout Beijing! Its so meaningful!

Saturday was just one of the loveliest Saturdays I had in a long time. I woke up like at 12 + (rare recently!), half expecting the house to be empty since everyone just leaves for their own activity. I was pleasantly surprised that Er Jie just woke up - and I had time to pick her clothes with her. Then Mom and Dad were preparing to go for Novena. Thank goodness I woke up in time! I ended up going to 1 pm Novena with them =) And I am so thankful I did! I can't remember the last time I went there - besides Christmas. I am so thankful for just being near my parents =) and being able to spend time with them, even if it were silent lunches and silent car rides.

Pa let me drive from Novena to Geylang, Geylang to MPCC, to Parkway! Then at night, from home to Changi Airport to send Da Jie and Jie Fu off! (Totally awesome!)

Then at night, I went for Abby's stayover with Eliz, Sam Lee, Mel, then Sam Chan came (who became the reason why I stayed over!). It was a popiah party which her mom organised! Abby keeps driving everywhere - its so cool. Anyways - we finally had good SAMS time together and spent the night doing our time capsule (though Abby crashed by then) and slept with super disgusting comforters. (eeeewww.)

Sunday was nice! I went to meet the CAAS peeps for lunch and rehearsal (at TCC! - totally posh haha-) We mum mum at Pasta Mania - then headed to TCC for drinks and rehearsal! Meeting them for Popeyes tomorrow.. hahaha --> Good luck Xue Yang for your 50 km march man. (eeps.)

**Kenneth: Don't say I never post!

GUESS WHAT - I totally made up my mind on a laptop---FINALLY. (those who know my laptop dilemma will understand the weight of that "finally.") Ah Ling Jie was in the vicinity and she brought me to Centrepoint to shop and in the end to Bernard's (at Funan) to check out laptops! It's a simple Fujitsu =) I'm so happy! My heart has found its laptop lover in a humble plain Fujitsu!!! =) [I wanted to Hp, but it was so shiny and sleeky - I did not like the touch pad]

At night, we ate at Kallang Leisure! (which brought in British India?!) And the desert was totally awesome -- its pumpkin ball!

It's deep fried with pumpkin paste inside ---> surrounded by Mango sauce. A subtle blend of salty, sweet, and zest! So niceeeeeee. (I'm posting pics later!)

Pa let me drive again! - from home to church - and from Kallang to home! =)

Tis' I declare my driving weekend!

red suzuki swiftttt.

**US at IKEA totally crashing their stuff and doing our rubbish things!
***MY DRIVING OBSESSION NOT FULFILLED - abby and mel gets the car all the time!

Thank you.

2008-08-06T02:39:00.002+10:00

I did not know how beautiful being thankful is - as I gazed into the flames of the candle I held during YFP just now.

There's so much to be thankful for.

So much.

Thank You for loving me - and for showing I need no distractions.

I wish my mind would clear up. Distractions!

2008-08-05T03:42:00.003+10:00

Today I had the super-privvy of waking at 9 am

to the sound of my father asking me if I wanted noodles from the Fat Man Wan Ton Stall.

And then going back to sleep till 11.30 am, just cos' its a Monday and thankfully - I had nothing on.

I ended up watching Rachel Ray - and washing the clothes for Er Jie, since she happily tasked me to do it.

Headed to Novena to meet Bridget - then met with Theresa, an angel I swear! She helped us talk through DYTM, and arranged to help us further with our facilitation skills. Really enlightening talking to her. Since we're so close to Colin's office, we decided to meet him for Kopi! Ended up taking about life, YC and just catching up =)

With time to kill before meeting up with my Ww mentor, Rui Lin and course mate Chloeeeeeee - Bridget and I ended up sitting at Starbucks and making ANTI-PIGEON POSTERS for our Lao er. =) Hahahahaha. Please don't kill us Gabe. We totally entertained ourselves and just ended up talking about stuffs.
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Meeting up with Rui Lin and Chloe was more than just dinner and HALF-PRICED PREGO YUMMY CAKES, and being lamp posts at the Chijme's open area to couples.

It was so surreal.

I was telling them, it is so cool that in a few months time, we might be meeting up again, eating something, sitting somewhere, talking about stuffs - but only at a different place, the place.

I don't know what's ahead - and while it is really useful to hear what Rui Lin has to say about Warwick and about our preparation - it seems to me no amount of preparation can get me fully ready for the entire experience. I don't know what to expect - in terms of everything else that's not in the Duwwy guide-- i.e. the intangible experience of being in a new chapter! All I know is -I'm getting ready to be blown away by the greenery - greenery - greenery.

On the flip side, with time passing so uber fast - and abby leaving in like less than 24 days time - and all my bestest friends busy to meet up - and Da Jie leaving for Aust soon - and Er jie busy with her wedding prep - and Mom in Jakarta - and everything whooshing pass me, I constantly need to remind myself --> I need to give this chapter of my life enough closure to move on.

Stock taking time peeps.

Oh Happy Day! (Sister Act inspiration)

2008-08-04T01:45:00.002+10:00

Take a listen =)

I love this song. We sang this on the bus while travelling from the parish in Melb to the airport!

Along this came this other sharings I neeeeeddd to share cos' it brings so much joy to my heart! =)

Manon's email! (met this lovely girl from Holland while queueing up for the toilet! I left her my email - and she replied back!)

"do you remember me? The girl you met while waitingfor the toilets during WYD. I waited for you a little while,but I couldn't found you anymore.I hope you will receive this message and sent something back to me. How are you doing? Did you enjoyed your time over there during WYD?Is it already sure that you are going to London for your study? "

[okay, by the first para - I was so touched already. 1, she waited for me at the toilet! 2. She actually remembered that I tol dher I m going to London to study! And at that time when I told her, it was super noisy!]

"I'm back home for 2 days now, you are already a week or even more, didn't you?It's very weard to be back in my village. It looks like a very nice and long dream.I saw some pictures of me in the newspaper and I was on television sometimes veryquikley, that's so awesome but unreal to.

After WYD we stayed with 500 Netherlands in SYdney for 2 days. Afterthat we travelled futher to Ballarat and stayed there in hostfamily's.I stayed there with another girl of our group. The family was living on a big farm with 4000 sheep and 60 cows and a lot of land. They had 8 children,so there was always someone to talk with, very nice.We went a day to melbourne, saw a goldmine in Ballarat, and saw the 12 apostels,do you know them?

I could have stay a lot longer in Australia to see more of it, and I hope to goback one day.I could wright so many things down from my time in Australia, I couldtalk houres about it. So if you want something to know ask me. I hope you understand everything that I wright down, if you don't, ask me.

dear greets from Holland,Manon Kroeze"

[AHHH! I've found a new pen pal in Holland =) This really sweet and friendly sister in Christ! =) She so cute type me all her experiences! Its so amazing how such bonds can be made withint 10 mins of toilet waiting. hahahaha]

Andrea's daily email on the sharings of the Daily Readings!
"Feeling dissatisfied is a sign that Jesus is trying to get our attention; there's something he wants to give us that we're not yet open to receive. Our problem is: How is Jesus going to give us what we need if we can't see him and feel touched by him?
To feel satisfied by an invisible God, we have to stay closely connected to him in prayer AND in the community that he's given us. We have to pay attention to what he's doing and who he's chosen to do it through. That means getting more involved and expect the unexpected! "

[Found this pretty thought-provoking and relevant for some people around me =)]

Jane and Nat's constant reminder
Conversion Retreat! Apparently its a really good retreat that has alot of good talks about faith and stuff by Fr William Goh at CSC! Anyone interested? =) It is from September 11 to 14, stay in. I can't wait - and I thank God for sending this two lovely people, and especially Jane, to RAVE OVER THE PHONE after the retreat that I must keep Sept 11-14 free.

Angelo's FB comment (Met at Train Station in Sydney, Hurstville!)
"Don't worry about the WYD blues too much! Everyone experiences that, most people I know are kinda sad too, I was so down walking around the city and not seeing heaps of dancing pilgrims! (COOOOMMMEEE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!) =) I felt better remembering that even though we wanna stay at WYD forever, God only gives us these times of grace to charge us for what we have to do when we get back home. Holiness isn't somewhere out there, its right here, right now...woooot! :D"

His comment totally (almost) cured my WYD blues - cos' it put WYD in perspective for me. =) Thanks Angelo!

Thank you for bring angels in my life! =)

Rambles on a Sleep-deprived Sunday Night

2008-08-04T00:29:00.003+10:00

Here I am on a Sunday night - totally nua-ed out and ready for bed anytime after a tight weekend - slurping HL milk from a TIM TAM stick.

Totally awesome man.

For those who havent tried this awesome food-advert like food (read: oreo's twist lick dunk), you take a tim tam stick, bite off the top and bottom part - dip it into milk, and slurp up all the milk through the stick. How to succeed? Make sure your tim tam stick is refrigerated first - and slurp really quick - it kinda disintegrates after a good 10 seconds. Totally cheap thrill but yes, =) do it!

Anyhoos - It was a pretty eventful week I must say. Started my weekend marathon from Thursday--> where I went on a major shopping haul with Abigail, just cos' she spotted a 70% roxy sale! Ended up shopping everywhere else but there - managed to pick some good stuff for UK - and ALMOST bought red crocs! Thanks Abby for being such a great shopping buddy! Rmb what that Easter Egg Jibitx stands for okay!

Friday morning - had to go down to Changi to meet Noelle to check out the multi purpose hall for the management lunch we got to perform at. So I had the afternoon free! Decided to give myself a short nua-getaway by staying home and attempt to play the guitar, since I told Jensen I will play with him one day hahaha! I realise its becoming my pick-me-up of mid day!

Went to meet Duane at Hougang to walk to Nativity - it was so beautiful =)

Met with Nat and Peter and went for Amplify Fridays! It was sucha moving experience cos' the praise and worship session was really good. =) Learnt about Ministry gifts. I thank God for Duane, Nat and Peter - cos' we shared on the long bus ride back to Bedok. I learnt so much! =)

His blessings are abundant I must say.

There I was at Bedok Mrt, 12 mn, being late for like 4 hours of the Warwick Freshies' Stayover @ Claire's - preparing to walk to Claire's where worried Duane, Nat and Peter wondered how I was going ot get there - when Kun Peng (I hope I got your name right!) and Oliver came and fetched me from the station! I was so thankful =)

We spent the whole night paying bridge, other card games, eating donuts and talking till about 5 am. I woke up at 7.45 am to go to Changi Airport to send my mommy off to Jakarta. Though in my heart, I was really quite scared my super old organs would fail me and drag me into deep slumber.

That morning - happened to be the best morning walk I ever had in my life. I woke up to like sleeping people around me - left the house - and walked from Upper East Coast road to the 36 bus stop. I swear - I regretted not bring the camera. The sunlight was perfect - as it shone right through the trees I was walking next to. The air was particularly fresh and I burst into song (softly, lest people thought I was mad) as I was walking lah! I now understand why Abigail enjoys her walks home - cos' nature and quietness of the walk allows for conversation time with God.

Met mommy at airport - just so I make sure I see her before she leaves - and ended up having breakfast with my dad. I was so thankful for that morning! Because it was really hard for me to just get family-alone-time. Shared with him my university prep - and YES! I got to drive from Changi Airport to Claire's. So my morning was uber awesome. Topped with Bridge playing right after I returned to "home", awesommmme. =)

We then made our way to the pre-departure briefing after rushing lunch at food republic. The fair was pretty okay- nothing much. Then I left with Claire and Yong Long - with time to spare, I decided to kill time with Yong Long since he wanted to "pamper" himself with a nice drink. Blessings never end! Had a great long conversation with him about the time before we leave for Warwick and all our thoughts about it. Totally fuelled my day ahead.

Then made my way down to Serangoon to meet fellow CAASers to finalise the script for our performance and film Xue Yang's part of the video.

(Xue Yang's Over acheiver OFFICE TABLE - look at all the trophies. Dude you totally nailed your lines hahaha)

We managed to do the script and all that in 2 hours! =) Finished at 7.45 pm - then headed for YC nominations night.

The next day? - Met up with the CAASers at Changi Aiport to film all our parts. IT WAS SUPER FUNNY PLEASE. Cant wait for the video to come out and ahhhh! Laugh at it all over again 7 years from now, when we have dinner at some cool place in the airport (maybe crowne plazaa!) Noelle was the artist, Xue Yang's the overacheiver, Francis' the advernturer, Kenneth's the runner guy and I was the nerd (hohohoho, it was the most fun to play la.)
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I have so many things to say about every thing that happened. And its so sad - I can digest it and chew it and totally remember the moment!

All in all - its been such great week and all.

But the two smses that really touch my heart and make me stop and take a deep breath are:

From Dajie: We leaving for Aust next wkend. Hope can spend sometime with u before u leave for uk.
From Erjie: The car is at home. We can go for a spin later at 10?
(which never happened cos' I came home too late. =( )

All this compounded by the fact that I havent got the courage to start on my WYD blog cos' of the sheer amount of things I want to type - my only prayer is:

Lord, help me make time for the most important people in my life.

My getaway Monday and Tuesday!

2008-07-31T03:14:00.002+10:00

Monday was spent most lovely - with Abigail and Mel - just nuaing and enjoying each other's nua-presence. I really agree with Joanne Sandhu when she says - the best outings are those that are free and like - just revel in each other's company. Went to TJ in the morning - and guess what:

I never leave the EAS office without a piece of advice.

The EAS room is the room where all the aunties and uncles that tidy up our school so thanklessly go to when they are having breaks. This time round, one of the aunties (I don't know her name!) stopped me in my tracks while I delivered biscuits to them and started a conversation with me - in chinese. (yeeepers.) I told her about my university life and all - and that I was scared to grow up!

And she replied - "girl ah, xin xing (confidence) and ren nai (endurance)! Work is actually very simple - its the human relations that make it complicated. Just believe in yourself and endure with others - and you'll be fine"

After that - talked to Rui Shan a little - then went to MEL's house to eat yummy bee hoon and watch ELLEN! We totally just nuaed teh afternoon watching tv away - breaking at 4.30 pm to ride her grandma's bicycle to katong shopping centre for BUBBLE TEA. =) Dinner was with Papa and Mama - PA STILL ONLY LETS ME DRIVE FROM hawker centre to home to hawkercentre to home.

why =(

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Tuesday! Met up with Victoria - and spent the whole time just talking to her and catching up on each others lives. Just as we were sharing on how difficult it is to love everyone around us in the way Christ calls us to do so, the HOMILY for the evening mass totally answered that. =) Amazing timing! YFP at night was good - we learnt about the story of stuff:

Go see! - www.storyofstuff.com

Makes me want to save the earth!
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Today was totally awesome lah. Except from the fact that I feel I need to spend more time with my Pa and Ma.

Anyhoos - I went to SICC for lunch with my GYLC mates - Joanna and John! (and his mother!) The two of them played golf before I arrived - so then we had lunch - talked about life, where we're heading, how we've been.... And then John (who had his own car?!) drove us to Orchard. We went to Jo's house to get her car and then headed to the BEACH! =) Where we plonked ourselves at Mana Mana.

oh my goodness gracious me.

It is totally like a resort. Especially since there were NO ONE. We were practically alone, facing the sea, listening to 91.3, and just tuning into each other's lives and views on things.

TOTALLY NUA.It was really good - cos' it was the perfect atmosphere to catch up with someone whom I've bonded over 2 intensive weeks of GYLC - and stayed in touch with for 2 years. =) And we're so going London together!

Went for church thereafter - went Duane!! And Jason ---> ended up talking for a good whole half an hour outside Father's house. It's so amazing how everyone's linked in this huge family of God =)

Then I met Limin and Cheryl Yew at Raffles for DINNER! =) Just chatted and caught up over sandwich - listening to their NUS stories and their RAG experience. Its just so surreal. =) I'm so happy for you guys!

I thank God for today - for all the people that I've met --> all the meaningful conversations I've shared.
=)

Oh, did I mention - a student threw a book and it landed near me. I thought it was genuinely an accident until when I turned around to face the class, the whole class was like: "oh horrr...' to the boy, who now, looks terrifed. So I figured - "okay, it was not an accident."
And ended up scolding the class.

It was quite funny! Cos' I was oblivious lah.

Musical Muse after my previous post

2008-07-28T03:57:00.004+10:00

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry

I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey

And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do

When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

Listen in sync with Corrinne May's list - Journey.
(in my side bar)

Contrary to the rather sad tune of the song, it is not indicative of the mood I am facing. I love the smoothness of the melody and the lovely lyrics. I realise that WYD is just the beginning of my long long journey, to get to know Him so much more. Completely opposite from a possible bleak take on this song - I see it as a recognition of my unworthiness, my human frailties, my pride, my laziness that comes in the way of getting to know Him. This is my commitment to steadiness - to constant prayer. =) Sharon, I'm with you on this long and unending journey! =)

My week after World Youth Day

2008-07-28T03:04:00.002+10:00

Monday:
World Youth Day has ended - we arrive in Singapore at 2350hrs, half dead, coughing the WYD-cough, and sang "We Welcome" for the last time that night.

Tuesday:
8.30 am at Yishun Town Secondary teaching drama! The students are really quite funny, some classes were quite hard to handle though. Surprisingly, I had voice to scream at them. Started the day with prayer =) And thanks to Corinne, she reminded me to say a little prayer before I jump into my first lesson. What a difference it made! =)
Afternoon: Totally WYD-ed and chilled out to Matt Maher and slathered myself with super-loaded moisturisers to quench my thirsty skin.
Night: YPF! =) Missed you guys!

Wednesday:
Drama in morning. Went to PP Mc-Cafe to steal internet connection (can you believe it?? My internet actually died on me, I was secretly happy at not checking the emails haha!), to no avail. Ended up relaxing to nice music - Met PRIS AND SHARON! for evening mass, and had yummy Cafe Olio dinner, Sharon's treat! I love love love the fellowship! Must repeat telecast!! Then had DYTM filming and meeting till late! =)

Thursday:
Drama in morning. Went home to nua and relax first - met Pris and Sharon and Gabe for evening mass, went to PP to get smoked salmon and honey dew! Went to Darren's place for post WYD gathering! The food was fantastic, but what was more fantastic was the SHARINGS! Its so so so amzing how God touched each and every one of us differently, whether we can articulate it now or not. Sometimes, we need to gift of hindsight to see clearer =) Thanks Darren for hosting us!

Friday:
Had my yummy Nam Sing Hokkien Mee in the morning - ended up watching Rachel Ray and then going to PP to shop and get a hard drive! 320 Mb! YES! I can finally get my pictures out. My computer is dying of the lack of space. Rushed home and rushed to Abby's work place cos SHE HAD THE CAR! I got driven around by Abby to go Mel's house to pass her muffins to cheer her up. Abby dropped me at church - realised there was no evening mass. Ended up having quiet time in the adoration room =) Then I met Abby and Shereen for dinner at City Hall! Ate Din Tai Fung! Was really nice catching up with you Shereen! Thanks for organising!! =) Friendships like ours must must last okay!

Saturday:
Overslept. Woke up greedy for italian food at old airport! Ate, collected curry puffs and nuggets - left for church for DYTM practice. Mark as Mr Mark Clean Koi Pong cleaner is damn funny can! Thanks Adeline, Mark and Pris for helping out and for being such a sport! And to all those who came! Crystal - your rendition of Salve Regina is hilarious! Leonard - you own lah. Jia you DYTM! We can do it! =) Stayed up till about 11 plus-ish in Jago, then went home to settle computer stuff haha.

What totally made my day: A random guy reading newspaper actually went up to flag the bus for me, when I was running like a mad woman to catch up with the bus 32! =) Angels do exist! They do they do they do!

Sunday:
Woke up at 7am to go to the Changi airport to see David off! WE had yummy Mac-cy breakfast (thanks nat! =)) and yup, it was the last picture taken with him for the day. =( DAVID, you are SO COMING BACK AS CO-FACIL OKAY! DEC 11-14! =)))) Went home after that, and guess what! PAPA LET ME DRIVE! WHEEE! I drove around the flat for a trial run. Aunty Stephanie - she went to open the car when the manual key, instead of the infra-red sensor thing, and the whole car went into alarm mode. SO MUCH FOR GAINING TRUST. hahaha. My father was so funny, during church, he went out early just to stick my P Plate for me so that I can drive home! =)

Then travelled down to serangoon gardens for CAAS-ers meeting for the skit. Our skit is now going to be called CAASNU. Haha. I swear we are so going to own okay hahaha. =) So exciting!!! Thanks Noelle for hosting us at your mom's office. Going down to airport to film this Saturday! haha!

Then whooshed down to City Hall to MEET OH THREE OH SIX! =) its been a long time coming! A small cosy group came today - but it was hilarious! JOEL, YOU OWE ME MOVIE. We had like dinner 1 at carl's jr, then dinner 2 at Kolo Mee place. We tried to unravel the mystery of Rachel, and Jensen ended up singing a made up song all about her! Jensen you have talent man! =) All the way all the way! Now I promised Jensen to learn my guitar well so that we can play together - I try my best okay!!!

And so,

that was a post-wyd week thus far.

Its a -bleah- ramble of activity - and by bleah, I would translate it to: My body travelling, moving round and about Singapore doing things that's planned each day.

This week is just absolutely surreal. My body may be doing everything that I so "rambly-ly" typed out, but really -

my heart and my soul is still at world youth day.
what is my challenge? - To find "world youth day" in my every day life.
Starting with you, you you you you you you.,
and most importantly, the central of my entire being,
You.

will blog about WYD ALOT ALOT soon! IT WAS AMAZING!

=)

2008-07-08T00:54:00.002+10:00

lah di dar.

Life has it's own way of pulling Stephanie along its pavements - watching each car pass without stopping to fill some gasoline.

Sunday was lovely! I met up with the CAAS-ers at the VERY COSY Bishan Olio Dome! Seriously nice place cos' its small and comfy! It was surreal to me - we may very well be doing a "repeat telecast" 6 years time in some other comfy place and reminisce this very day.

Headed down to church for PnW prep with Pris and Brian - and DYTM meeting. Brian makes me want to go home and practice the guitar lah - he's good at it! DYTM ended off with us just chatting about Leonard's army experience as a motor-biker. hahaha.

At night - I went to FINALLY meet up with Rannald and Gerard! (after 1 year ago since Tj duathalon!) We went to check out brewerks and guess what kept me entertained -- the british grand prix! We were ushered to seats that gave me full view of it! So sad I'll be missing the F1 race in singapore =(((

Anyhooos- the next morning I had to sign my deed with my sisters - ate yummy popeye's chicken - head down for driving - went Singapore souvenir shopping - gave tuition - and what totally awesomely made my day was: a call from Ms Nora saying that she's arranging me to come in and teach Yishun Town Sec =)!! I was really pleasantly surprised because I wanted to help out as in, just be facil, or like stand around make friends with the teens - but Ms Nora actually offered me a teaching opportunity! =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I can't stop grinning ear to ear - what a pleasant surprise.

Thank You.

I shall be true to my breaking-nocturnal habit and sleep early.
(actually it's cos' I have my TP test tomorrow! =S) --> I pray for curbs to stay away from my car.

DAJIE: May your feet become better okay? Thanks for coming down today despite your swollen feet! My sister got bitten by killer mosquitoes at some golf place --> =(

Bye bye Green Chocolate.

2008-07-06T03:10:00.002+10:00

Bye Geraldyne =(

Tonight was a special night for the monthly meetup group - Gera, Mel, Abby and Bert.

Not only was it the first time we had yummy wholesome homecooked food proudly presented by the two master chefs of the day - Abby and Bert! They spent the whole afternoon preparing a whole course for us - plus ondeh ondeh desert (I got it right okay.)

=)

It was great fun because the whole - let's take photo before dinner thing became our escape for the night - we kept taking so many picutres and laughing at them there after.

I'll miss you Gera! You're the mother of our group lah - way back in Kuan Tan man! =) Take care over there at Canberra and sorry I cannot send you off this coming Tuesday. =(

Abby, Melly, Bert, Gera - thank you for making this night a really special one, etched in my memory for its simplicity and distinct mark of our friendship - we don't need big restaurants, loud music, "happening" activities(aka noisy clubs), fine dining at a restaurant --> just add a whole lot of sincerity and just being-yourself to our home-cooked yummo outing! =) I'm really glad today happened.

It was so cute - we did a menu for Gera, and a paper for her to plan her opening speech and entertainment - i.e. photo taking. hahahaha! We took so many retarded photos can.

Thanks for ARIPLANE, who introduced Jon and Kate youtube videos online to us on msn like 15 mins ago - I stumbled upon this video with a lovely song!

It's called a charmed life - and the lyrics are lovely! =)

It's a charmed life
Innocence wild
Crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of a very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life

It's a charmed life
Unexplainable grace
Stumbling, you fall right into place
It's a childlike world and you can feel the magic
Far from the typically tragic
That's the beauty of a charmed life

Who needs to know
When it all comes and where it all goes
Who needs to know just where
Fate will take you there

I love the lyrics for its colourful way of bring across things! And for the last paragraph - it sheds light on the decisions I've made - that is all in His hands =)

This song described fully - how I felt today after dinner - I dare to celebrate the simple world the 5 of us shares =) And how we happily indulge in the simplest yet most powerful things of what our friendship has to offer - inner joy.

It was a great recharge to the week. =) Love you all - and Gera, must skype okay!

Never take panadol in the morning

2008-07-05T01:53:00.004+10:00

Today started off wrong.

=(

I missed a meeting with Bridget and Theresa cos' I took panadol cos of a splitting headache in the morning - and forgot to set alarm after that =( So sorry!!

Makes me want to become a nocturnal-convert. You know I read on msn articles once that one can become a morning person with the right practices. Maybe I should. But Singapore too alive too much in the night =( I should live in Europe, or Australia, or Chicago. (but nah - I love Singapore too much -> I'm hunting for Singapore flag! Any contacts?)

Anyhoos - the morning was destroyed. I decided to go out to the ole' trusty old airport road market to eat some comfort food: Porridge! And guess who I met in the small town of old airport road - Oliver and his mom.

The afternoon was a tad better I guess - I promised Audrey and Andrea I'll take them out for ice cream at Ice Cream chefs. I'm so glad it materialised - just met up with the sweet pair and brought them to the place. Ended up talking about their orals and all - great catching up =) I din get to enjoy much ice cream =( still felt gong-gong after the headache.

Then I went for church practice - for PnW coming up this Tuesday =) I'm glad Pris and I have the same taste in the songs we choose =) Yay! Let's make Tuesday a good session okay?

__________________________________________________________

Thought for the day:

I think I should stop being so nocturnal anymore.
1. It's so unhealthy!
2. It makes my morning horrible! - I can't enjoy the fresh breeze at 7 am!
3. It promotes an unhealthy lifestyle.

I blame PROJECT WORK and KI IS and (not really council - since I have loads of fun staying awake while writing proposals and taking on msn simultaneously with you guys)!

Anyhoos - gotta sleep early (or earlier in this case) going to meet Ryan for macs breakfast tomorrow. Haven't caught up with this silly boy for a long time hoho.

Another day gone - I still pray for my hammock holiday. - First, the hammock. Now where can I find it! Oh and next thing on my Things to Do list - learning Golf -> thanks to John Loh, who booked all his lessons on the weeks when I'm gone! Haha, his seriousness in learning golf inspires me to go do the same. Yes John, we so totally better make use of our membership before we are 21!

Hammock hiatus - when are you?

RAHHH!

2008-07-04T15:20:00.000+10:00

I am so terribly sorry Bridget Shoo and Theresa!

3rd of July

2008-07-04T03:53:00.004+10:00

Honestly, today was like an un-scripted day that went really well. =) I'm worn thin of what energy I have left though.

Morning - woke up early to go Raffles Medical for pre-employment check up. Goodness. One BIG advice to people going - drink loads of water beforehand okay. Cos' they need samples of you know what. Noelle! I think I din drink enough water in the morning hahaha. Oh wells - then I did a scary X Ray scan - which I'm getting super paranoid about cos' the lady was dodgy about the reasons why she had to send it for "futher analysis by the Radiographer". Dang, I was really quite unnerved by her lah.

After which, I went to do something on my things to do list - that is to go to the viewing mall and just sit around to pen down my thoughts on my journal. Being in T3, ah - it has its own special feelings it invokes within me. I was disturbed by school children on their learning journey though - sigh.

Afternoon - rushed to meet Mr Fun to attend a Halogen leadership session at Choa Chu Kang Secondary. It was nice catching up with him the day before at Shoduku - and listening to him talk about army (hahahahah) over Yat Kun coffee. Missed half of the session - but was quite an eye opener none-the-less. My heart is still with helping teens through drama - and Ms Nora has yet to get back to me =(

Being early - I decided to go gym with ABIGAL! =) I was really inspired by an article I was reading about rowing lah - so I got ready the rowing regime and headed to our favourite Bedok gym to row =) Not bad leh, we rowed for half an hour, cycled for 20, then did some weights. As I exclaimed while doing planks - "I've found an exercise partner in you abby! =)" Must repeat telecast please. Mel - next time we all go okay! (oh we saw the channel U beauty pageant guy, the eurasian one, not that we were very much interested..)

Then I headed to church for DYTM Meeting!!! After a rest, all our ideas came back! Hahaha - the teens will be in for a surprise, I think our creative juices are mad today. "Creepy Kid Crystal and Willy Wonka."

Since Crystal drove, we all wanted to test drive in her car! So we headed to Siglap to have some desert! And we ended up at Royales playing with their lego! LEGO IS SO FUN, and still is fun. We plonked down and (okay, ari's chasing me to blog finish!) ate cakes and just talked about life, goals and our thoughts on spirituality - including Bridget's story/or her friends. It totally made my day. I seriously wanted to just go home and nuah already - but I guess I could not have passed up sitting in Crystal's car! - and yes, I was blessed with even more, lovely company to end the night.

And the lovely company goes on the midnight. As I started up my super slow computer - ARI PLANE and I decided to be good Warwick freshies and start mugging up on accommodation! We multi-tasked, shared our experiences on losing stuff (yes I'll buy springys and beepers!), realised we both loved Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson, and CORRINNE MAY - (no kid Ari!). And we created our more-or-less finalized list! =) Clap hands to us Ari! =)

Quoth the airplane woman, Ms Real Estate 2008:

Ari says:
hahaha our personal description same same, I DON'T WANT TO STAY IN ROOTES I HATE CLUBBING hahaha

Tune in head: Lucky - Jason Mraz, and Colbie - but Jennifer Chung + Singindork88's youtube version!

Just one thing before I hit the lights

2008-07-01T02:14:00.003+10:00

I'm so worn out by today there's only one thing I want to say:

Today, while Steph was half mad and delirious due to her lack of sleep/travelling around Singapore - she asked her driving instructor KK - "gear one more power/rev right? ", remembering what Benny Boy used to tell her.

While he replied "don't bluff me", Steph quickly added - what rubbish, let me try!!!
Go try lah!
What? On the circuit?
Yah.
Seriously??!!
Yah.
Okay =)

-And I stepped on the accelerator to the max at gear one. vroooooooom was my answer. (Through the entire lane!)

So cheap thrill right?

ABIGAL - Just wanted to say I'm sorry. Take a hiatus okay? I wanted to say you can jio me go out drink nice coffee- but I'm all for seclusion, so go ahead and grab your own hammock and tree and just enjoy the solace. Either that, you can ask me out to enjoy solace together at different trees with different hammocks.

Square One

2008-06-30T04:05:00.004+10:00

Today was basically this: Church - lunch - go get camera (thanks papa! =)) - chill out at gloria jeans - rush to meet Abby and Mel - rush home for tuition - rush to Cathay to meet Mel for Get Smart - ended up walking around to kill time before movie.

I finally got a new camera - one that starts up within 1 sec, and not 7 secs! And have a big enough screen to see what I'm capturing. Yes, I'm still sad about the Ixus I left on the KLM plane. It's a sad departure.

Get Smart was funny - but every one was like "GO WATCH IT IS SO FUNNY" that I think I got my expectations too high! I found Kung Fu Panda funnier and more heartwarming - and Rush Hour Three more memorable - I mean, who can forget the YOU YOU MEE MEE part hahahahahahahahaa. Thank you Melly for watching it with me - especially since we used up the free ticket.

Nonetheless - brainless and stressless, I like! I finally got to use my 1 year ago free movie ticket. I got it at a youth event held in June 2007, thinking whoa - why they put the expiration date as 30th June 2008???!!! And was at awe at its absurdity at how someone can not use a free movie ticket within a year, let alone a month etc.

Tsk tsk. (k, i'm guilty)

Anyhooos - thank you Jensen! for giving me a random call just now just to catch up (in about 5 mins!) Have safe trip back home and yes, we shall meet up before September okie? (So does the rest of oh three oh six!!! Dudes, I wanna play cooking mama. And to my fellow 3rd Novvy, what happened to our happening-ness!? hahaha - catch up yea??)

___________________________________________________________________
In about 9 hours time, I'll be signing thick stacks of papers with my parents at my side in my future workplace.

I must say its surreal - almost unimportant really. It's just signatures right? But after joking with Yong Long on how absurd it sounded when I was told - "Steph, you need to sign the papers before you go for the tea session" just so I am "verified" and "qualified" in black and white, I realised - it's not really a "haha" thing anymore.

I'm excited- opening a new chapter in my life - entering Warwick, making new friends, writing new stories, painting new landscapes under the same sunlight -> while it is a documentation chore/wait for the HR officers to watch me pen down my initials - it becomes my little ceremony of embracing this unknown future ahead of me, come what may.

I was talking to Augustine that day - and we both agreed that now is the best time to record all my feelings, my thoughts, my ideals, my goals, my take on life etc etc etc etc - keep it down in a journal, and promise not to open it till 20 years later or somewhat. It will be such a out of world experience to read something from a 19-yr-old you, when you are 40 yrs old or something. Try it try it try it!

I'm starting my square one.
Now I got to stop procrastinating.
And start thinking recording my chapter 1.

*music stuck in head: Voice in the radio by Marie Digby.

Dared to move?

2008-06-29T02:21:00.002+10:00

Today was a pow-wow day - I almost had trouble sleeping last night cos' I din think I would gather enough "glucose" to run the race.

My morning was really fun though - I went to make friends with the uncles and aunties in the wet market hahahah - by asking them to recommend me stuff to buy. I stupidly went to order like 30 curry puffs from an indian lady I was talking to and she was like:"yah yah, 11 o click okie~"

I waited till 12.

Nevermind the fact that I was running late/ no, LATE for botanic gardens picnic - in between 10.45-11.15 I realised I ran out of oregano and had to rush all the way down to Cold Storage at KALLANG LEISURE just to get Oregano. Then rush to the indian lady - only to realise she haven't got the curry puffs (Oh, i needed it for the DYTM night event). I ended up spending an hour at the stall - and with my boredom of lack of speech, I started talking to her about all the different curry powders! hahaha. Not bad man - I realised, rather than get angry with her and start like getting "urgh" over it at her stall would: 1. Make her do weird stuff to the curry puff. 2. Make my wait even more unbearable.

So, I decided to learn the art of cooking curry from her. HAHA.

Anyhoos - I rushed down to Botanic Gardens in my father's car -- He's going to Novena with Mummy =)) So happy for him really. (Lourdes did him some change. =)) The picnic was really nice lah!!! I enjoyed it not only because of the company I was getting to know (aka my school mates! =)), but the face that it was held in the lovely greens. Lovely place to get to know people! I like the nuahhhh. (we had so much fooood! And I finally tried Chloe's muffins! And met Claire (after a long time!))

Guess who I saw - Mark Tan and Clareeee! Hahaha. Super small world can! Clare, if you're reading this, you better study hard and get to UK okay. Remember YOUR GOAL. Haha. =)

Anyways - I had to leave mid way to go home to prepare for DYTM - bring all the food over to church and all to set up. Thank you Crystal for opting to come down to help me lug all the food. It was crazy: fishballs, sausages, pasta(again.), curry puffs.. the fish balls were mad lah. So many! The people who came eventually used them as forfeit.

First Session of Dare You To Move
The first session went well - the food was settled, the projector etc... Even last minute nightmares like Stephanie forgetting to upload the Bicentennial Man video was promptly solved by an angel- Auntie Audrey who, allowed me to use the computer and OPEN A NEW PACK OF THUMBDRIVE. =) Father Chris came down to see also - quite nice lah =)

The games went well and all - and really, the session went smoothly. Leonard was super smooth in his presentation, Crystal was her confident self, Bridget/Sharon/Kenneth were interacting with the participants and did a great job facilitating. (I could tell just watching!) And what's more, there's time for sharing - amidst planning a event. C, L and I sat down with the "oldies" and reflected on the topic of fame/celebrities and Jesus. Linda's sharing was especially affirming. With Corrinne May playing in the background - I felt at peace.

6 months of discussion, hours of meetings - and it culminated in this session (and 2 more coming up).

Some how, after the session, when Leonard went and ask feedback, some said it was just like cat class. I guess it was unexpected for most of us - since we really wanted something different.

Still, I am affirmed. I am affirmed by the look on the teens' faces as they listen to James' sharing, by their enthusiasm in the games, by the post-session supper-cum-indian poker game they partook in, by the sense of smoothness in how everything went. Though not many people came, it was a nice number - cosy, and comfortable.

We had a short de-brief, and all I could say is: we were all exhausted.
As I waited for the bus home, I simply thought of the entire session. Why do we feel exhausted? I wanted to just go home and sit down and not think - my exhausted body was wheeling itself lifelessly from living room to room to bathroom.

Then something made me open "Personal Notes of Bernadette Soubirous" that I bought in Lyon - and this struck me. (She's St Bernadette)

"I am so tired in the morning. This reminds me of the temptation of Father Avlia who, one day, hesitated through weariness to continue on his way to celebrate mass. Our Lord appeared to him showing him the wound on his heart, reminding him that weariness had not prevented him from going to the summit of Calvary. Courage!"

It made my night so much better - and soothed it with a peaceful understanding that my tiredness is shared with someone else as well. I want and will share this with you - Crystal, Leonard, Raymond, Bridget (those present at the de-brief, as well as Carisia in Bangkok), courage! As we dare people to move closer to Him, so are we, dared to move and trudge through heavy, heavy waters. Thank you for being my rocks in the currents - that I can hang on to.

Let's continue - challenged, and renewed.

27th June 2008

2008-06-28T01:49:00.003+10:00

I actually packed my room till about 4 am the previous day - only to be awoken by a "stephanie, you better wake up now!" at 9 am.

I followed my mom to her friend's apartment, then to citibank lah di dar. And just to kill time to meet with Leonard - Kino! Meeting with Leonard was fruitful! Thanks for taking time off to discuss and finalise the slides for DARE YOU TO MOVE tomorrow! I'm really exciteddddd =D (along with the uber happening Warwick picnic!)

Had driving prac again - haha was complaining to KK (only Mel knows! hahah) that I was really sad about the curb lah! We went back and examine: it was a super narrow lane that's why. Sigh - we all learn.

Anyways - I headed home after a pretty long day - dead due to the lack of sleep when Er Jie came back and was like - GO EMDD!!! (Evening of Music Dance and Drama - by Katong Convent) I hesistated for a long time. I had to finalise the slides and put in the videos and go worry about placating the fishball uncle cos' I moved my order to tomorrow and about the chicken nugget lady... hahah.

But I figured: heck, the roaming theatre concept sounded too enticing. [sidetrack: afterall coffee saved my dying physical body. -->coffee club coffee is no good.]

This year's EMDD was indeed a unique gem amongst the rest. It was held at the Art's House - first time there! And the audience was asked to move from room to room after every performance!

The first was the Drama pieces at the "black box like thing" - I loved their take on Kuo Pao Kun's "the Coffin is too big for the Hole", and its emphatic - (words revised) "If everyone is allowed one slot for every coffin, one standard size, how am I going to find my children, grandchildren, and their grandchildren in this plot of land?" Challenges the iron-fisted state indeed.

I absolutely loved the drama put up by the Secondary Three Normal Tech girls! They were really gooooood. It was on their life as students and all - and really really funny how the students answer back and all. Turned out it was coached by a Drama company that focuses on using Drama to draw out natural, innate talents that are present in these teens. Its so amazing to hear their testimonies that they are growing "braver, more confident," and seeing their face beam in front of so many people just lit my heart---> It became the highlight of my night.

After watching the play done by inwardbound (the drama consultancy), some impulsive side of me - just went up to the person in charge and asked if I could help with their drama productions. I felt really inspired by what she was trying to do through drama - and yes, I guess its time for me to make use of those Graces S/D stuff that's been left on the shelf for half a year.

I was really happy that Ms Nora actually said they needed help this coming August - =)))) It made my day. And I quickly told my sister: thanks for bringing to EMDD today. Not only for the food, friends or the performances but for such an opportunity!

To top it all off: Augustine and I walked down to Boat quay - only to realize TIMBRE was RIGHT NEXT TO THE ART HOUSE (I din know it was so close) and THERE WAS UBER GOOD MUSIC PLAYING. Haha, we plonked ourselves on a near by stairs and waited for er jie. (yes, we were cheapo! haha) I'm beginning to really like timbre for their music. [did I say we took photos at the Lee Kuan Yew seats and all -- I saw S. Rajaratnam's seat!!]

_________________________________________________________________
It happened aptly. I was just thinking about Young Change Makers this morning when Edmund messaged me they were meeting up to catch up. I remembered why I decided to leave YCM, because I wanted to have more time serving in Youth Council. And really, I had no regrets - the heart of service in both organisations is different. In a governmental-related youth body, the heart of service is ambiguous, even for myself. But in a christ-centered environment (read: HF, KC) , the heart of service is not necessary easy to find, but clear cut.

I realize I need to keep reminding myself that - where my source of fuel lies. Its so easy to do do do do do and not realize the whole purpose of it.

Grant me a heart of service - not by might, power but by spirit.

Just thought I'd share

2008-06-27T04:33:00.000+10:00

Caught this on the facebook group of YFP.

I miss you guys!!!!

My days of freedom

2008-06-26T14:58:00.004+10:00

I am currently watching the Price is Right (I prefer the Bob version!) and guess what's for bid! - A HAMMOCK.

I seriously put a big sign on my things to do list - Get a Hammock, go to favorite spot in ECP and read John C Maxwell with Journal at hand.

Can't wait. I wanted to lay my hands on a rainbow hammock I saw at the Louvre Museum -one of the shops - but it was too heavy man.

Anyways - I spent my morning really fruitfully =) -somewhat. I woke up at 11 plus (hey I slept at 2 plus!) and went quickly to the wet market at Old Airport Road to check out cheap fishballs for this Saturday's Dare You To Move events. Whoa, not bad leh. $4 for 25 fishballs - too bad I was late (in wet market standards) so I ended up reserving 4 packets - and promised to go there again.

What got me really excited was the fact that: FairPrice is open at Old Airport!!! Super market! whoots! Its really small though - at 11 a.m., I was jostling with aunties and uncles and maids to get chicken franks and cutlery for DYTM. Then I went to some unknown bakery to get bread, and makan yummy fish soup at old airport.

=) I love my home! I hope we don't kena en bloc, especially since the "dakota residences" is opening right opposite my flat and KILLING EVERY GREENERY THERE IS - that I so fancy whilst running along the canal. My mom was super funny lah - last Sunday when SUPER ALOT OF PEOPLE came down to see the showroom - we went as well. The sales pitch was "its next to the river etc.." My mom was like - not river lah, Longkang can!

That's true.

Haha - anyways I went home and started chopping the franks since I was inspird by the Rachel Ray show. That show's not bad!! And guess who knocked on the door: The DHL MAN, with THE package ----> from Warwick! =)

My anticipation for Warwick has been growing ever since the Europe trip I had with my family. The growing wanderlust - the msn conversations that stretch to midnight - the skypes with Claire and conversations with YL over the accomodation (and their innate aversion towards ensuites.) - and today -> the package. =)

I glanced through the stuff and was really glad to read the Religion bit of the documents - and there's a Catholic society there! =)
We are a new society only founded in 2005. We support the work of Fr. Prem, the Catholic Chaplain, and the rest of the Chaplaincy community.

Events include quiz nights, discussion groups, films, guest talks, games, and food from across the World.

Highlights for this (the second) term include a trip to Oscott College, Birmingham- the historic priest training college. Also look out for 5-A-Side football team.

We are all open minded individuals welcoming people from all backgrounds, cultures and nationalities. You do not have to be Catholic to join our society: all that is necessary is to share an interest in the faith. If you have any questions do not hestiate to ask.

*points at last sentence: cheers to ecumenism! =)

Yesterday was great fun - finally physically met Chloe and Oliver (Sam could not make it =( - cos' of her interview with a professor) and we ate at Chicago's Steakhouse - if I am not wrong. The portions are scarily big lah! But not bad food really - great company, what I can say. =) Then Chloe and I went Carrefour shopping for this Saturday's Botanical Gardens outing. Chloe, you are mad lugging those potatoes and laptop home!

Anyhoos - I forgot to mention MEETING THE LOVELY INTERNS OF MCYS last Friday night at Bakerzin! =) We just started talking and talking and talking, it din matter whether we had a place to sit or not, we started talking outside Coffee Club, standing around - until Jon had to leave for more "happening activities!" hahahaha. I miss our rubbish moments at work together lah. Haha. T'was nice just catching up!

__________________________________________________________

I met an angel in disguise yesterday =) (inspired by G2's concert haha)
Someone on the bus nudged me and told me my ten dollar note from my back pocket was coming out. =) Though it was a small gesture - I'm sure silly steph would not even notice if someone took it lah.

Made my day! =)

**and yes Seha! Someone offered to give me 60cents for bus rides! =)

-mean while, the swimming pool beckons! - going to meet Abby, Mel and Shuhua! =)

Carpe diem?

2008-06-25T03:42:00.006+10:00

As I travelled on the buses to my repetitive destinations today - making my way to places - taka, then Bugis, then CDC Driving centre, then Bugis again, then head home for tuition - a misconception I had for a long time unveiled itself while my mind was doing its usuah round-about, mad thought cycles.

When I was asked yesterday about how have I "seized the day" - I merely listed down the "things I did" list of the day. I have long referred to carpe diem (yes I know it sounds cliche already! Its a beautiful saying - but just pasted everywhere and anywhere and not recognized for its lovely meaning --->watch Dead Poets' Society!) as having a day that was fulfilling - doing alot of things at the same time etc.

Honestly - I'm really glad those days lulled somehow. Though, there are remnants of it occasionally popping up in my calendar.

What sparked my lazy (very very) computer self to blog about it was an interview for a sales/retail job today. Stephanie, thinking she could spend her time fruitfully working at a shop promoting items, decided to go for the job and all. But during the interview - I realised that as I spelt out my time that I was free to the interviewer who was processing in her head, I saw my visual calendar in my head having more strikes than I would have liked it to be.

I realised: how much I probably did not treasure this rare freedom of this time of my life.

I had the freedom to plan my week to the needs of the week - all the meetings, things I need to do, friends I need to meet up! - and I was happily locking it in and striking it off. It dawned upon me that even though money may be tight some way or another - I rather have this time for things that mean most to me. Especially since, after Uni - I'll probably be on the road of work and life, as always has its currents to push every one of us everywhere.

Then the snowball of thoughts continued -

Seizing the day - and living it out to the fullest is not packing your calendar with events, things to do, nor is it the miles you have traveled from place to place. It is about living and leaving each day knowing that at the end of the day, whether or not you went through 10000 miles of walking, you were thankful for what had happened.

I think I should start being thankful for: anything that makes me re-think my perspectives, anything that questions my goals and intentions, anything that makes me feel "yep, I better change that side of me", even a boring day at home - spent alone reading books, a failed attempt at driving, a realization of how much my parents love me through a small gesture, an enlightened way of looking at things, a needed hug from a friend, 60 cents from a complete stranger to take the bus, a random sms from someone metaphorically faraway, a lovely "how are you doing?" from Joshua, a faith encounter that questions, enlightens and deepens.

Thus, seizing the day does not become an activity log, it becomes a perspective on how much one believes it was indeed a day well spent.

Seizing the day means so many things to so many individuals - for me, I'm putting a big reminder sign in that brain: Look at the small little hidden things that does not appear in the "to-do list".

It's a baby perspective I'm getting today - I guess I shall mull over it and see where that direction takes me.
brain diahoerrea.

omg ben cooks!

2008-06-20T00:37:00.002+10:00

Haha. That was what my lousy attempt to multi-task got me into.

Currently I m watching the episodes of Lost I missed and yes, I can't beleive Ben cooks!

Finally catching up on Lost =)

Anyways - I am currently resting from a 2 week break to Europe with my family - and yes, it was really beautiful - will blog more about it in a new blog or somewhat.

I caught Kung Fu Panda yesterday with er jie! =) And its really really really funny - I am totally in love with it. - so much so, not to watch the very dramatic and stressful episodes of Lost just so I can keep the happy endorphins in me! =)

lah-da-dar - i shall go back to Lost, gmail, skype - boo to new age technology sometimes. =(

*I want my old driving instructor =((((

My blog post from the internet/computer in the airport

2008-06-03T23:20:00.002+10:00

I am typing my blogpost from the free internet access in the airport!

Techinically, its my escape from all the bustle that my relatives are producing due to a compounded mixture of excitement and fear of pickpockets.

Its really kind of surreal that I'm actually leaving homeground to places that I've always heard of from books/tv/friends - because of such a unprepared lead up to this day. Oh my I was packing my hand carry only at 6.30 when I had to leave at 6.45 for the airport.

But nonetheless, I'm happy. =)

Will be travelling to places covered in religious conversations and lessons, so that'll be really awesome.

Before I leave to grab some GOGO Franks (its absolutely tempting me from the corner of my eyes) and some absolut mango mix (oh its really nice!), I just want to say-

its totally surreal how this is gonna be my future workplace. =)

Oh, and *go visit whitechopsticks.livejournal.com (support my friends!)

Finale at TJ

2008-06-02T02:35:00.005+10:00

*Picture courtesy of Max Sim's photos on facebooks.

Friday was my last day at Tee Jay. (I was working there doing strategic planning - with emphasis on mapping out the various partnerships the school has with the different stakeholders.) - I'm being elaborate, since I was working in the general office and every one taught I was a part-time receptionist (I was for half a day though! - since they all had meetings..)

But yes, it has been a pretty eventful time. Seriously, there was so much to blog about and talk - but I guess "the next day" catches up before you can blog about "today". I catch those happy memories on my take-away journal I carry with me every I go on the bus, in case a sudden inspiration fills my fingers with enough zest to pen it down.

My last day was quite eventful - had a romantic lunch with Aisha eating ayam penyet - and then meeting up with Abby and Mel, who prepared some jello and all for me. I was spending the last 3 hours writing the Students' Council Presidents' Book. It is the oldest book in tj, and my oh my, it is filled with HISTORY> brimming loads of it. For all, the book contains the thoughts/reports of every President that has ever served in TJ. It was amazing just breathing in the air around the book (Seriously. -take a look at the pictures and how history writes itself.)

I really regret not reading through every one of their thoughts and experiences before beginning my journey - I bet the emotion I'll feel will be a great sense of hope and excitement. Reading after I've been through it just brings back nostalgia. I miss council. I really do. As I pen down every one of your names, I remember memories that I've spent with you. You guys don't know how much I feel like re-living those memories =) (Oh by the way, the Lime Green Book is placed with Mr Tong and the Presidents' book, so that you guys can read it when you go back anytime!)

Speaking of memories - I'm left with a whole new set of memories and more so, insights into life.

As I lugged my heavy tote on one side, bringing back things I've kept in school for the past 1 and half months, I sealed the last good-bye/appreciation letter I had to write and walked out of the already empty general office. I thought I'll just walk out and head home for some alone-time and packing, and maybe with a tinge of nostalgia and bittersweet goodbyes,

but He obviously had something else in mind.

Uncle Hut and Uncle Tay was sitting outside the general office. (They are both EAS staff who takes care of the school's operations and all that)

Uncle Hut was quite nice, told me to come back and visit him and have kopi with him. He then told me about the ex-principals in tj, his experiences when he first came into tj, how tj was last time. And I was flabbergasted. I was amazed at how much history was stored in this respectable man, who humbly walks the school with his noticeable cap. He then told me how although he was so old (yes he was!), he would prefer to be out working than staying at home doing nothing.

It was quite a unique conversation, because as my head whirled thoughts of admiration for Uncle Hut, Uncle Tay started telling me what a great man Uncle Hut was in Chinese - completely off tangent to the conversation I was already having with Uncle Hut. And saying how Uncle Hut was slow to anger and always does his work happily.

The conversation could have, and should have lasted longer.

What Uncle Hut said to me in the end, left me rubbing my eyes and opening them longer than usual just to hold back what I tried to control.

He said, in his humbly, cheerful, bubbly, "uncle hut" manner -
"Stephanie, no matter what you do in life next time, must remember to be happy. Everything you do must let go (here, he did a funny jiggle with his hands), relax, and be happy. Can already. No money, got money, also happy. You see, even if my contract (30years mind you-he extended for 2 years) in TJ end, I'm okay with it. I just go be cleaner."

By the time the second sentence came, I looked away, rubbed my eyes, and pretended to be more interested in the ceiling.

My work in TJ culminated as such, with one simple, simple lession : Live simply, be happy, be content, and Uncle Hut taught me that 3 mins away from my walk to the exit of the school.

His demeanor, his life, the way he treats others, is enough testimony to that. And it hit me, in a very heartening way - that TJ taught me exactly that. In cooping myself up in the General Office, unlike the other people my age who came back to work, I surrounded myself with people who were content.

When Mr Aziz asked me did I learnt anything from this experience 15 mins before I talked to Uncle Hut, I said - "yea, I learnt about organisation structures and more about managing them". 15 mins later, I'm glad to say that's not my answer. I've learnt life's greatest mysteries - that how can one be happy without money, career, prestige, the latest fashion, that car, etc?

It's simple: you choose.

My short encounter with Uncle Hut will always be a reminder to me, at another point of time in my life, when I start thinking I want more and satisfaction becomes every next step I take, that living each day as if its the last is not ticking off the checklist of things you do before you die, it means being content with the boxes unchecked.

Thank you Uncle Hut, for unknowingly giving me a lesson I now carry every where I go.

Driving makes Stephanie happy.

2008-05-27T04:49:00.002+10:00

=)

I just finished my parking modules.

- Like finally!

If my calendar were a garden, it will be filled with pretty flowers.

2008-05-25T00:24:00.002+10:00

I haven't been blogging for a long time and to me, that's almost bittersweet.

Happy because it's a clear indication of how much "social life" (DYTM joke) I'm having outside of the world of computers I go to everyday. Sad, because there's so much I would very much like to journal down. Every day, every moment in the day, every minute of the moment, my mind is journalling thoughts I cannot concretize lest I put them in words. (Now, everything's faded - not in a emo-lovesong kinda way, but faded into hidden memories I need to relive to jolt the very same emotions.)

Take for example, 32nd Students' Council Investiture. I vagely remembered what I felt when I saw the 31st dancing so happily - I knew it was a kind of feeling I had plastered in my head - but one thing fell after another I forgot that special feeling! I shall chew on the moments a lil further before I pen my raw-est form of feelings. I guess this is why I take loads of pictures of events! =) To jolt special memories! =)

BAm-WHam schedules kinda make the week pass really fast. I wanted to blog about College Day and Vesak day weekend, and before I know it its the next Saturday. Which is, a good thing, maybe, because my wait for LOST gets shorter and shorter hahaha. Its my sacred time of the week.

College Day- DYTM meetings/Presentations - Vesak Day stayover and outing - Council Day meeting with the 29th.30th.31st.32nd - Band practice! - Council Investiture! - Council Swensons chillout catch up - Month foodie Outing at Margaritas - DYTM Meeting - Mardi gras! - Meeting Fr Chris for DYTM presentation! - Parents' Sharing in the morning - Meeting Crystal and Carisia for a non-recommended lunch at TableTop - Bread and Kaya at Banda Street! - Home.

Blog another time! =)

Vesak Morning

2008-05-19T09:35:00.002+10:00

Here I am on Abby's computer, in a cold cold room, next to her queen sized bed -messed up by many - reeling from the depression that I did not manage to catch Marie Digby's concert on Deeprockdrive. (reasons resulting from the inefficiency of the alarm clock)

It was a almost "No way, Jose" feeling that I will never miss this concert really.

Sigh.

A bad morning to culminate a jam-packed eventful week - A bad morning to start a jam-packed eventful week.

Content with my cool straw =)

2008-05-15T03:58:00.005+10:00

It was after a 3 hours long meeting for our new church project - Dare You To Move, that I found the very cool straw Audra was talking about that day.

It was a straw that you put inside your milk - and the taste of your milk will become that of the flavour indicated on the straw.

I wanted to buy five to give to people - but figured I'll just buy one to try first lest I regret.

OH BOY NO I DID NOT.

IT IS THE COOLEST STRAW! =)

It has this filter system thingy of all the flavouring - and guess what I FOUND CHOCO MINT =)

So it was absolutely fantabulous milk I was drinking after the meeting. =)

Here's the picture

Go get it! It's called SIP-ahhh.

Anyways - today's meeting was really good. The four of us, Crystal, Leonard, Ray and I sat down and bashed out the details of the project. What really touched me the most is how every one was on the same page - every one was almost dying inside to do something for the youth in our parish - to create a wave, to create this change unstoppable and only possible by God. Thank you 3 so much - more than you can imagine - cos' you guys teach me how to dream big. Really Big. =)

Yesterday was the last session of YFP - where we had the presentation of a youth project by every team. Our team (the cam-whores #3) did one on youth mass! It was hilarious to do. Really. Every one in our team was cam-whoring on Josh's mac that we ended up doing a presentation based on that! Youth Mass can be revolutionised! And it will =) Have faith all!

Some of us went to surprise Joanne there after at her house for her birthday ambush. It was a nice evening - of fun, laughter and joy. It ended off with my long talk with Manny in his car about everything - where it suddenly struck me, that yes, this is my one shot at making change and I am not going to let earthly forces stop me.

Lesson learnt: I don't need expiration dates to make things happen - I need the sustaining fire of passion, and more so, great faith. Everything that has happened this week has led to me to realise many things - that, some where, some how, some way, God has His lovely plan for me. I may not see it now, I may not even start to comprehend, but I know - my life in wonderfully crafted by Him.

Don't think I'm waiting on the world to change anymore.

Oh Happy Day!

2008-05-11T02:14:00.003+10:00

As I am happily contented as I faithfully journal down possibly the loveliest days in my life.

Firstly - we went to celebrate er jie's birthday last night - went to eat yummy ying tai food(Thai food along purvis street) with the bestest bestest olive rice ever.

[This is of course, after a fairly exciting day in school. For once, I was the school's receptionist for like 2 hours! (because all the admin staff were in a meeting) It was tough. Really. All the calls and all the answers you have to provide. It was stressful! =) But fun anyways! I got to like chop stuff and receive stuff on behalf of the school hoho. And then there was college day prep. AHH. The horror. I was asked to rehearse my speech!(i.e. belt it out with mucho gusto at a 10% filled audi with sleepy and tired faces) I was like "___" Insert any emotion that spells shock. I never had to do that ever. Weird weird feeling for me - only because I always reserve my words for the one moment it was written for. Sigh - new experiences call for new embraces I need to adopt!]

After yummy dinner, Dajie and I were itching for more entertainment than home - we decided to go to Wongs' (Siglap) for foot reflexology! (Quote Da jie- its the non-dodgy place that's poshy enough to get your foot massaged) Haha. It was really good. No joke man! We went in feeling super excited at the interior, and left with our legs feeling "light as air" - literally. Nice nice. The perfect antidote to overly-hyper minds who don't want to sleep at 10 p.m.

anyhoos.

I went to meet Limin today to cheer her up! (hope you're feeling happier now dear =) ) - I'm glad we met to talk and just get gloomy things out of the way of life.

Guess what - Limin was so sweet she allowed me to go watch Marie Digby live and get her autograph. *!!!*

Ended up because we needed a place to talk - we went to GAP reaally early (b4 4 pm) and sat on their sofa to just talk and all. And it was really by chance that we decided to shift our butts to the staircase infront of the pseudo stage for Marie Digby and continue talking.

The big shock came when closer to 4 pm, everyone was jostling in and the events personel was like "hey guys, when Marie comes, we're setting up the queue here. In other words, you guys are the first to meet her."

I swear our jaws were on the floor. WE TOTALLY DID NOT PLAN FOR THAT. - we really wanted to be 6th --> why? Because we were total fan-noobs. I am not your typical groupie, really. This was the plan: we wanted to SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DID and follow suit. Now that we were first - techinically, we can't do that! We then spent the next 30 mins feeling so embarassed and at lost at what to do. Really- but still so so proud that we were first nonetheless. (in an "aun-teh" kinda way.)

Marie came, sang 2 songs and started signing! She's really nice in person - what a great personality! Everyone should start tuning in to her original music (not just umbrella really) and you'll see why! I was quite depressed I din get tickets to her velvet performance - I only realised recently you had to spend $100 at GAP or something to get it - !!!)

I got a picture with her! =) If surreal is the word, it is. I feel like a groupie now- oh no. No no, I console myself like what Limin said - we are not the screamy type at least. We actually felt bad sitting in front because the 3rd group from us were like the "screamy" fans - the really enthusiastic ones! And we were like - oh no... felt really out of place. Limin was so giving lah - really, she was the accidental fan.

So after that surreal incident, we went for some bites at NYDC (YUMMY SPUD-NIK and BAND AID) and walked around heeren, until I met Dajie at Kallang for the promised movie date. =)

There is a first for everything indeed - but I never expected me to ever NOT RECCOMEND food. Indeed a first! Everything I eat is really- edible. For the first time - its the Sesame Corriander Chicken pizza from Pasta mania. My face turned blue on the first bite.

(gross.)

-Sorry Pasta Mania, it's really personal opinion.

Caught Made in Honour- its a feel good movie =) I likeeeeee!

So yeaps, today was a first for many things:
For foot reflexology in the middle of the night
For meeting Limin just to talk
For meeting MARIE DIGBY - by sheer twist of events!
For meeting Dajie at Kallang for dinner, arcade, shopping and bad pizza
For watching my first movie at Kallang.
and for waking up really early tomorrow- better sleep now! Busy day tomorrow!

Paint me in your Sunshine

2008-05-08T01:47:00.002+10:00

Paint me in your sunshine
Wake my sleepy eyes
Round me in your comfort
Stay with me for all of time

Reach your hand,
I'll follow Darken clouds for your rays of hope
So paint me in your sunshine

Walk with me, stay by my side
Fill my head with stories
For love and war and glory

Reach your hand,
I'll follow Light the path that will lead me home
Oh, oh, Home [x2]

One day the world will grow colder
Everything we've come to cherish crumbles
And only then will we turn back and remember your glow
Paint me in your sunshine

Leave the part of you behind
Tell me where I'll find you
And send me off to another day
Till we meet tomorrow

Reach your hand,
I'll follow
Hold me close till the day that I grow old

paint me in your sunshine.

You got to love the concept. And Marie Digby =) AND YELLOW. And how the colour bursts in your head. =)

Lining shadows with yellow chalk.

This is dedicated to you, Sunshine. You know who you are dear.

Long time coming.

2008-05-05T02:14:00.001+10:00

It’s been a long time coming – life got in the way of technological scribing of one’s life.

Which is, if you’re in the same world I live in, a good thing.

I’m currently: running on pure caffeine from the two cans of Nescafe Mocha I drank this morning in school, listening to sounds in my head – bohemian rhapsody and John Mayer's "Waiting on the world to change" cos' that's exactly how I feel right now after YFP (Youth Formation Programme) at church.

Truth to be told, that's the only strong-enough impetus to get my fingers dancing again. Things that happened within a month (wow, its really been a long time) are all bim,bam, boosh I can't seem to pluck those memories out and start describing them. In a nutshell, its been a bang =)

I realised blogs are important for others (by that, I mean people who know you, are your friends, and have not been catching up with you) to keep up with your life. For non-conversationalists, staple for some starter conversations. And for others, just so you participate in the paths of your loved ones.

Anyhoos. Life's been great so far. Busy busy, but happy busy. =) (Everything hence forth are weird, un-synchronised sentences- my coffee power is running out. ) Caught We Will Rock YOU with Gavin, Russell and Steven, which explains my current queen faze. Been going out chilling with council girls, the council camp fire, etc and the monthly Gera, Abby and Eliz gang. Been giving tuition. Met up with Jane, Limin and Tiff yesterday at KFC =) Youth mass Skit-ters! =) Lah-di-dar. Oh yes, I'm currently working in Tee Jay (the place to be! =)) doing strategic planning type projects. So its great fun =) Been catching up with juniors and teachers.

Going to spend the rest of my coffee power bar typing proposals for this upcoming church event PPM team is doing =) So yeaps, better scoot off before I hit low battery.

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing
and There's no way we ever could
Now we see everything is going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)

Waiting on the world to change.

An Hour to Live.

2008-04-01T03:04:00.002+10:00

Today, while waiting for Jane(thank you for today dear =) ) to arrive from her work place all the way at the other side of Sunny Singapore, I ended up walking around Parkway! Bought new ear phones which Siya reccomended, and ended up plonking myself down for a good read at Borders.

I did not expect to read in Borders- cos' I was really just in the mood to walk around- but just as I was getting bored, I saw-- "An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love" by Richard Carlson and Kristen Carlson. The former being my favourite writer, almost pivotal to the way I lead my life.

Piqued, I picked the book and started reading the blurb. Initially, the very "auntie" side of me was like- WAH THE BOOK SO THIN SELL FOR $20 dollars! Then I read on, and realised that Richard Carlson died in December 2006 (I DID NOT KNOW!) and it made me so so sad. The book was about when Richard wrote his wife Kristen a stack of letters on who he would call to talk to on the last hour of his life. The funny thing is that he wrote this on the 18th year of their 25 years of marriage=> Not really preempting his death, but more like, just cherishing the time they have together.

Without hesitation, I picked the book and plonked myself in the quiet Monday Border's scene reading it page by page. It was riveting- page by page. I found myself tearing in the end. It depicts so so much truth and love between the two--> but beyond that, it forces me to think the question I always forget to: what would you do if you had an hour to live? (Very Steve Jobs I must say)

Here's a few things I picked up from the book that I thought it's sole purpose was to share and enlighten:

(In the words of the respected Richard Carlson)
"Another thing I'm absolutely certain of is this: If I could live my life all over again, I'd rarely if ever be in such a hurry. What's the point? You get to the end of your life and you finally pause and reflect. And it all becomes so clear. You see the absurdity of all the rushing around. In fact, it looks so funny and ridiculous. The "rat race" is an illusion. And so unnecessary. We rush around. And for what? All it does is keep us from truly experiencing life in any form of meaningful deep way. I can see now that people are chasing happiness. Its ironic. Because if we would just slow down, happiness would catch up to us. "

"We all have obligations, responsibilities, and priorities that are relevant such as our financial security, career status, and social prestige. We have goals, dreams, ambitions, and obstacles to overcome. We also have unique challenges to face, hurdles to climb, people to meet, all types of relationships to foster, and so on.. We even have superficial stuff on our agendas such as our lifestyle, how much money we make, the kind of car we drive, our possessions, how we look.. It's good and reasonable, but none of it is going to make us happy. What is going to make us happy and content is that "critical inch", the stuff we will talk about in that final hour of our life. We need to make choices in our lives based on what is truly important. So who would you speak to if you only had an hour? What would you talk about? Most importantly, why are you waiting?"

Why are we waiting?

Cheers to MCYS!

2008-04-01T02:37:00.003+10:00

Today was the first day I could get up late, and spend the day the way I wanted to--carefree and easy =) I'm truly truly happy.

Friday was the last day of internship at MCYS. And I must say- it's been a great experience mainly cos' of the people I hang out with (aka the interns) As usual there was Healthy Lifestyle day again, at ECP, where I was totally was not in the mood for cycling cos' I wanted to just nua. Rushed out all my work to clear out before the end of the day and went to ECP with the interns and temp staff (the rest left without us..) In the end, (and this is really unfortunate) we came late and missed the rest of the staff. I did not have a chance to even say bye and thank Jane! =( Left the office with some note and cookies to share (to fill up the vulture's corner..). In the end, the six of us just NUA-ed our time away at the beach. Sitting in the sun and sharing our lives/and other stuff with each other hoho.

I'm proud to announce my favourite spot at the beach! It's really cosy, with soft sand and its really windy. The scene is too beautiful! I'm gonna sit under this particular tree and read books for my own hiatus! =)

After the beach, Siya, Charmaine and I headed to parkway to just chill out and talk over coffee. Hui Min, Amelia, Jon and Eza left halfway.. It was really nice just to sit down and talk about things =) [not in an office setting!] Sigh.. I really miss you guys man. Can you believe it? 3 months ago we were total strangers at the same table at the PSC Scholarship session(which I got rejected today via an email without an interview). Funny how the turn of events led us to this =) And how we have journeyed thus far. I really learn alot of you two, and learn alot about myself too! =) Siya left early-- afterwhich Charm and I went for SUPER GOOD FISH SOUP! (yes we finally had the chance to!) And ended up just talking at the hawker centre for a good 3 hours! =) Wow!! =) Thank you so much for just being such great company the two of you!

Cheers to interns! We'll meet up soon no worries! =)

MCYS has been a truly eye opening experience. I guess without this internship I will never know firsthand what policy making entails, the culture of the government and what work it involves. Thank God for this experience, made my views and goals much much clearer =) I think everyone should start taking up internships to help them ascertain their future careers-- it's so so important! It also made me good friends that I can talk to =) and made me fall head over heels with the beach once again!

Cheers to MCYS.

__________________________________________________________________

Saturday was cool- ended up waking up late for KC Family Day! Met alot of old faces! It was good just seeing you guys again =) And in the end, went for Dragon Boating! =) Really good experience, though I realised I can't commit long term for competition. Sigh..

But the night was the best. After helping out for Zoomin Zubin publicity, Benny Boy, Alex Boy, Andrew, Raymond and I went to SIMPANG to eat SPIZE! =) GOOD FOOD MAN! =) hahaha yayyyy! It was nice just fantasizing our Gourmet Club we intend to set up! =) I CAN'T WAIT! =)

__________________________________________________________________

Sunday was typical-- was nice meeting up ABIGAIL HAN AND SHU HUA! =) Thanks for dragging me out to meet you guys! =) Was really nice just being in your presence. Thank you Shu hua for the call the night before just to check how I'm doing. I'm thinking you're almost Godsend =)

So I foresee the days ahead after MCYS: Loads of catching up! =)

Everything

2008-03-27T02:50:00.003+10:00

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

-see matching video at the side bar.
Thank you Mervyn for unknowingly leading me to this song.
I stress, unknowingly. hahahaha.

I realised.

2008-03-27T01:03:00.004+10:00

I realised I haven't been journalling enough. Have not penned my whirlpool of thoughts.

Coming back from the University talk Warwick just gave, and eating all the yummy food(the prawns), meeting two of the very pivotal people in my council life-

I realised, how how how badly, I've been taking stocks.

Here I am at 11.05 p.m., all bathed and plonked in front of the computer (which I happen to face for like 17 hours a day), washed up in all the applications madness, being thrown into a routine phase where everything is work and activity, hurled into a messpot of human emotions that I know I'll gladly take up, flung into uncertainty, and with 4 major items on my "things to do before I sleep" list...

I realised I am being dragged by currents of standard, if not, a variety of activites--- 8.30-6 work, after work, tuition/church/random activity/meeting/DRIVING(k this is total leisure so Im not complaining) and if I'm lucky, I get an empty slot to just nua my life away. This floating in the motion of life's activities thing makes me wonder today:

Have I been taking stock?

Clearly even if the answer was a whisper of a seemingly indistinct "yes", I know whatever I'm doing now is inadequate.

I realised how much I missed journeying with council when I met Claire and Rebecca today unknowingly at Warwick talk. Seeing their faces again, lit not only my eyes and tugged on a smile, but it lit my heart! Really, you two did not know, but just yesterday I had a conversation and I can't help but thought of how much council-mates have changed my life. You guys taught me to love and that love-however difficult- can materialise even in seemingly impossible circumstances. I really really miss just talking to you guys.

And not only them, SAMS too. Abigail's timely messages that I see, and don't reply to due to the trudging currents I float into.. I need to meet you guys soon man.

I feel this sudden inexplicable feeling lately. (and I think in retrospect I'm going to look at this post and think, oh yes, it's written on an impulse) Very much like what Adeline shared during YFP yesterday. (which happened to be a really heartening session cos' for one, I felt for the first time in a long time, I found true love in a special old-time friend--you know who you are![6 years buddy!])

I'm glad for the coming hiatus after my MCYS internship---for I am bracing myself for good concrete time for others, for ellen degeneres, for boon tong kee tofu, for fellowship and not forgetting for myself.

With the coming of April, I think we all should too =)

________

On another bleaker note, applications totally drain the life (or what little of it) out of me.

I am really really really thankful and feel blessed for what I've received--(and thanks to dear Esther YAP for being my shi fu and my motivator throughout that trauma, and many many others..) , but now-- its a whole new dimension of "urgh"-ness. This whole application thing, this whole "your next ten years"-quoth Siya thing, this whole "what's next???" thing.

The very self aware part of me tells me that I should stop worrying about tomorrow as it is in His lovely lovely hands, and that I should trust in the things that follow. But the very human part of me keeps letting myself get "urgh" over it.

At this moment, I cannot but draw into mind something Jane shared with me in sec4(Jane quek I need to meet you too!) on letting go---> It was a story about a boy and his broken toy. He kept crying over the broken toy and how broken and spoilt it was. He started to complain and scold his Father for it, and wondered why his Father is not doing anything about it.

To which his Father replied, you did not pass your toy to me, how can I fix it?

-on my way.

now, back to work--proposals, essays, emails.

I'm on my way.

2008-03-23T19:41:00.004+10:00

I’m far away from what I’ve known
And there’s static on the radio
Just a girl in a car on a lonely highway
I’ve been up and down this winding road
It’s getting dark, the stores are closed
The map is wrinkled, my coffee’s turned to grey

But I’m on my way, I’m on my way
There seems to be no end in sight
But I know I’ll be alright
‘Cos I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Sweet embrace, I’m on my way

So many beat-up cars on this dirt road
I see them sputter and start to choke
How many miles must I go till I rest in your grace
I feel like giving up and letting go
Let the world invade my mind, my soul
Will this road make me, a sinner or a saint

But I’m on my way, I’m on my way
There seems to be no end in sight
But I know I’ll be alright
‘Cos I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Don’t give up on me, I’m on my way

I can picture your smiling face
Your arms stretched to hold me
Waiting there by the gate
If I ever get lost
I know that you’ll find me
There’s a cross on a hill saying
“Do not be afraid.”

I’m on my way
If I keep you in my sight
I know I’ll be alright

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for allowing me to be a listening ear to others; and others to me.

Thank you for your beloved son.

Thank you for Bro Colin for teaching me about the beautiful Easter Vigil. T

hank you for walking with me.

Thank you for hugs I can find abundantly.

Thank you- for easter.

Happy Birthday YC

2008-03-17T03:46:00.001+10:00

I love YC.

nuff' said.

Oh Life

2008-03-15T02:15:00.003+10:00

Oh Life
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life
So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life

(I love this song!)Life oh life =)

Today was absolutely fun. The interns were planning Healthy Lifestyle Day: A day where all MCYS staff get s a half day off to do healthy activities. In the end everyone was too busy to go! So, with the encouragement of Denise, we went ahead! While we waited till3 plus for every one to finally decide to go or not. So after getting lunch for everyone--from Subway and KFC (Keep Fit Club-not v healthy I know), we waited, and finally, went to ECP! =)

It was such great great great great great weather. We were worried the rain will come, but guess what, IT DID NOT. The sun was just nice, and the wind was lovely. We went there by cab, and the taxi driver was just damn amusing lah. Kept telling us Mas Selamat jokes, which I hesitate to put on world wide web! Anyways, when we got down, it was so funny cos' we immediately adored the Sun, I swear if we knew some apollo song-dance we would have done it. Office life just kills the vit D opportunities you might have! So we changed, and immediately went to the sand to soak our legs. The three girls went to lie down and sleep/nap/shut eye basking in the sun!! =)

So then, Jon's restlessness and inability to just sit down and enjoy the sun (he's too active lah) made us move and get bikes! =) We biked till our butts hurt and ended up taking bus to my dear ole' Old Airport Road for dinner and Liege waffles! =D So heavenly! Must call me if you wanna dessert at my place!

After that went for WYD meeting =) The usuals. Supper at Macs and thanks Man-Goh for the ride home, and for sharing your thoughts with me!

Anyways, this week has been pretty happy! A levels results was really, truly, a blessing from up above. I can only thank Him! =) After As was quite weird, everyone else was busy with work and all, met up with Abby and Shu Hua for a while. Then decided, I shall just go for Stations. After which, I treated myself to ALONE TIME and spent time GROCERY SHOPPING TO MAKE CREAM OF ASPARAGUS!

It's super not easy to make can.

It took me like 3 hours to shop and make!!!

Then SAMS stay over at my house =) Finally. =) My lovely house/bedroom got transformed into a 4 room-er. I swear. It was like immigrant workers' loft. Mel was super sweet, she got us a scrapebook to store our memories.

Slept and woke up late for MAC BREAKFAST! Then chionged for Confirmation Four Camp. =) Was really excited cos' the night before results was spent PnWing with Nat and Andrew (and BTK Tofu!) which was really soothing, cos' I did not think of my results at all! =)

Anyways, Confirmation Camp, was really one of the best experiences I have ever been through. Will blog about it more later =) It deserves a spot on its own, not in a mish mash of fatigue-blogging.

And lah lah lah-life. =) Went for Annabelle's surprise ambush last night! So lousy!! =( Annabelle why you come out! Spoil your own surprise! =( thanks "who-the-hell-was-that-guy" Ryan for waiting for 30 mins hahah. And yes, Happy Birthday Annabelle! =)

So I end off today by saying:

Everyone should have Healthy Lifestyle Day.

And truly, smile everyday! There's so much to smile about.

I know who holds tomorrow

2008-03-05T02:41:00.003+10:00

Thank you Abigail Han Yi for that lovely surprise letter at my doorstep when I came home from a long day @11.55 p.m. (You were probably asleep.)

Thanks for sharing with me this. Which I will turn in turn share with others =)

"I don't know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day, I don't borrow from His sunshine, for its skies may turn to grey. I don't worry over the future for I know what Jesus said...I don't know about tomorrow but I know He holds my hand"--this are lyrics from a song I take great comfort in. I guess too often we make plans that does not include God. We worry about the future. But knowing that God is the one that plans everything, we can safely let go cos' we won't fall, even if we do we can have faith that He catches =) no fear, my friend. Fear just shows how little we trust in His sovereignty."

=)

I don't know
About tomorrow

I just live from day to day

And I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to gray

And I don't worry about my future
For I know what Jesus said
And today He walks beside me
For He knows what lies ahead
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to under-understand
But I, I know, I know, I know who holds tomorrow
And I, I know who holds, who holds my hand
Oh yeah, yeah, yes, hey, yes
Who holds my hand

*picture taken in Japan by humble camera.

12 mn.

2008-02-28T02:42:00.002+10:00

twelve midnight.
abigail's message at 10 plus. after the KC girls finished their kushinbo dinner, while I had a 4 hour--no close to 5 hour long YCM Meeting!! 31 projects! Glad that we more or less finished it.

Just got home at 12 mn.

I so need the sleep now.

farewell red eye!!(hopefully.)

Will blog about excitingggg Monday outing (it got deleted.) and lovely supper with YFPers(some) on Tuesday soon.

Today was such a self-awareness day for Stephanie.

supper under the starrrrs =)))

2008-02-23T23:33:00.004+10:00

Last night was totally awesome.

In fact, yesterday was one nice day =) These few days I've been smiling to myself walking home =) --->only means one thing: too much endorphins. =)

Went for NSC appt so missed the first part of work. Afterwhich, I went to office in my jeans and tee and ended up hanging out at Jon's area with Siya, Charm and Jon---> stapling and putting slips of letters of envelopes. Lunch, Lit review for a while [guess what: SUAYNESS!! My lit review got wiped out! I got to start over again! AHHH.] and then my favourite home visits.

Charm and I was like: "JLN BUKIT MERAH!! NOOOOO. "We are so terrified of that area. just too many home visits there, tired, and lost.

But the outdoor element beats the indoor, cannot tell the weather outside, dry environment in the office. We headed out and turned out there was IKEA! =) Since we had spare time to kill after the first home visit, we went to ikea to relax and chill first. We went to every sofa to sit our butts on and walked aroudn to kill extra time since there was no where else to go.

We wanted to get the hotdoggg! but luckily, OUR "WILLPOWER" held us through. We ended up eating Niang-er biscuits which Charmaine (niang-er) packed from China. And the next best thing happened, STEPHANIE SIM LEFT HER ENTIRE BAG AT THE IKEA BISTRO.

We took a cab down to the place. And only when we wanted to alight and pay the cab did I realise my bag was not with me! We burst of laughing and rushed back. So drama can. When I was running into Ikea like a mad woman, the intercomm boomed: "...soek foong please come and take your bag" I din even catch my full name! Can you imagine the trauma I will get if I hadnt heard my last part of my name!!! The security office waas obsure! I would not have found it!

We rushed back for the home visit and finished our day. Of which, charm too had her embarrassing story! (hohoho.) Again, the home visits are just, too humbling. I would not call their family's weak, dysfunction or any sort of that. Really, how resilient.

ANYWAYS,

I headed down to church to meet bennyboy for dinner!! Ended up eating the YUMMIEST FISH SOUP IN THE WHOLE EAST SINGAPORE! and drinking so much bubble tea I ended up being super HIGH for the supper under the stars! by T.O.T (the outdoor team) Thanks benson for acting so happy when you drank the soup! hahahaha. Your expression super funny! HAHAHA.

We headed off in groups and reached thomson area (work area ahh!) and grabbed supper, then went to seletar to see starss! =) So pretty!!! Too bad it was too bright. Thanks Gordon the astronomer!! hahah.

It was pretty! Really really.

But the car rides were awesomer- hahaha. MANNY AND BENSON TOOK ME ON RIDES MAN! hahahahah. totally awesome. You two make me want to drive cars so badly. Manny was showing me his splitronic thing--- and sitting in his car with Nat on the highway traffic jam is just too funny! hahahhaa. I'll never forget! PLUS, the upper thomson super long road!!! =)))) Benson! We should have videoed it!!! SUPER FUN! =) Let s go vroom vroom again!

WHEE~~ Speaking of which, I had driving today! =) Mr wilson was not too strict whew. Then met up with Joanne to go for Gordon and Des's Baby shower!!! So exciting! Missed most of it but went to just revel in the mood! May He watch over your family and bless you abundantly!! =)) Saw Bubeee toooooo! SOOO CUTEE!

We ended up watcing Hair Spray!! =))) It was nice feel good movie lah.

My favourite line in the whole movie:

Link (Zac Effron):"How is Tracy?...I can't sleep, I can't eat...."
John Travolta (Tracy's mom):"Wait, you can't eat?!"

Bwahahahahahahah. [Peek-tures taken at SIMPANNG SUPPER. SAMS, I love you so very very much. (to even spend my chap-goh-meh with you)-->read abby's blog.]

I can't wait for our interns-monday-happening night.

=))))))))

I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Have you?

2008-02-21T01:13:00.005+10:00

I believe in the Kingdom Come

Then all the colors will bleed into one

But yes I'm still running.

You broke the bonds

You loosened the chains

You carried the cross

And my shame

You know I believed it

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

Absolutely funny how I chanced upon U2's famous hit back in 1987.

On the radio.

(the one on the blog is re-done by someone else-->I prefer it over the rahrah U2 though)

Thank God for 98fm! hahaha.

How apt, I was discussing Father John's talk on Monday with Greg and this song popped out.

Today was definitely lovely. Besides the fact that the interns are once again---having a happening life at work, and that work today was really quite fulfilling, the night activity was way better.

Went to St Pats after work and met up with Mervyn, and so cool! In the end had dinner with Aloy, Geri, Darren, Mervyn and of course, Fr Philippe Joseph. It was a nice quiet dinner at Hong Kong Cafe at ECP =) Love the wind there.

The discussion was really good-- though I regret not having enough brain space to contain all the meaning-loaded sentences. He's leaving tomorrow =( Can't send him off due to driving.

So many questions, so little time.

step by step.

What's next then

crazy day at work

2008-02-20T02:39:00.008+10:00

Crazy week at work so far! =)) it's been fun!

Monday was Paula's last day so we went to Viet nood place. After which we felt greedy and bought donuts! for our lovely break at 4.15!! =) Siya was wearing this weird button shirt!!! HAHAHAHA.

Daphne:"eh, always take picture stand and *smile* so boring! kae, we take kung fu one lah!"

So ends the Day Monday.

Tuesday: New intern arrives! I was a wee later than usual cos' I slept too late the night before. GUESS WHAT I SAW WHEN I WENT INTO THE K-zone. We were packing the basket of goods per meal for a average/low-income family for Pamela's presentation.

and look at the final product!!!

WE HAD FUN! =)) There was gross pea water left in the end. but yay! What a lovely morning! cos' then we escorted pamela down and hid the basket before the presentation. That is Siya getting high on my panadol and stealing Xin Wei's froggie!

Thereafter we all headed to Lorong 1 for lunch! The interns walked to and fro from the office and bought out bubble tea!! =))) hahahahah now it seems customary to have a short break in the afternoon together. Amelia asked us whether it was tradition, we were like: yea, since yesterday. haha.

And then in MCYS we cannot keep mail that are more than 55MB or something, you gotta pay for additional mail space, so those who exceeded got sent mails that ask them to pay! haha poor siya kena! All the colleagues were crowding at Ceci's table and checking their records-- comparing! more so!

then Jane made the funniest comments amongst the "eh you so much, wahh! I cant believe you're on this list!"

"Its like school again and we are comparing results!"

(I guess you gotta be there to laugh! =))

Work's cool.

We are totally planning for our Monday Movie Night and Happening Programme already. hahahaha.

Set arh!!

Who am I

2008-02-17T05:04:00.002+10:00

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Humps ahead Lord, Obstacles and demons I battle within me.
Thank you for Love around me, for today: my lovely cousins, YC-ers, Bennyboy. =)
Thank you for helping me find my blindness.
Help me find the courage, answers, knowledge, passion, to seek the painful restoration.
Amen.

Humps Ahead.
Are you afraid?

Afraid not. =)

All in a day

2008-02-16T02:26:00.003+10:00

Today, was one amazing-wow-packed work day.

(I shall blog quickly cos' my body needs some detoxification that it never seems to get for the past one week)

8.45: Meet Charm at Chinatown mrt station.
9.00: Head off to first home visit @ Banda Street. Decide to walk since it was windy and its china town. (no buses if its within a certain radius)
9.05: Realised the map was really exaggerated and the walking distance was really rather short.
9.07: Saw a really nice looking temple (Buddha Relic) and decided to walk in since it was meant for tourists.
9.10: Admired the nice structure until we delved in further and there was a seemingly procession going on. Stopped in tracks to let the people pass (almost laughing:at lost of what to do)
9.13: Peered into the "prayer" hall (which happened to be really nice and HUGE) to look see look see further.
9.15: Stopped in tracks due to the second round of processions (at lost of whether to look at them or not out of respect)
9.17: Decided we should stop our little adventure and move to the house.
9.20: Arrived at house. Touched by how it looked like the movies-- yet, so real. Felt really blessed to be living at a home such as mine.
9.21: Started knocking on door-- no reply for 10 mins. (realised the mother was out cos' she found a job over 2 days)

Futile Home Visit #1.

9.30: Decide that since the next home visit was at two-- we shall go explore Chinatown (no we were not slacking cos' our last home visit was scheduled at 6.30!=and eventually ended at 8.00)
9.35: Started hunting down possible lunch places; explored the temple further. REALISED IT HAD 4 STOREY-THING. A rooftop garden on top with scriptures, a third level buddha relic mediation place(which was really calming), second level museum, first level--temple main halls.

We were totally bowled over. The only thing that lef us back inside were the kindergarten kids we saw outside the temple talking photos-- we decided to crash their contingent! hahaha.

It was really amazing cos' Charm and I (Both catholics!) were very intrigued by what Buddhism is and realised that Buddha was one person (and that cultural differences manifested itself in his differing images). Very very interesting. We even asked the tourguide stuff and clarifications, and discussed about our views on religion. (I'm glad to have you to talk to Charm!)

10 plus?: We went to walk things off. So walked the entire Chinatown to People's park. Decided we were dead hungry and decided to walk all the way back near to the temple again to eat German food. (Yummy meatballs) and discussed desert plans on the way! [in the shopping centre we saw two guys walking down a upwards sloped travelator--and guess what, cos' (kae, it was me) I was so lazy, we ran after them, and did the treadmill work out of the day man!]

11: German meatballs and mash potatoes! We thought of Siya when we headed off to eat ice cream (super yummy turkish ice cream!) Then decided to sit down somewhere to discuss our HSP paper that we had to write. So we sat at macs to discuss and at the same time use our time more effectively.

12+: Decide to make our way there. Took bus, reached habourfront, walk a bit, take a bus to Henderson.

1: Things started to go bad. WE GOT LOST! (took the wrong buses twice! and ended up walking SO MUCH we had blisters!)

3: (yes we were lost for 2 hours--wait for bus etc) Met with Norlia! Very nice person and pretty cat! and headed to find Mdm Aminah! So we decided to take bus and save money. We talked so much at the bus stop we din realised we were running late for the visit at KU.

4.20: Rushed down, was late, missed mother. Helped out the kids with their hw in the end. ( felt like sleeping already-- super tired after getting lost so many times)--and WALKING SO MUCH.
5: Rushed down to meet Letchemi.
6: Rush back to meet Mdm Aminah
7: Rush to BUkit Merah Lan to meet Mdm Selvi.
8: Rushed to church for WYD session

10: Supper with loh-hei =)))))

It was one fruitful day!

Shout out to:
Charmaine! =) Thanks for being my home-visit pardner! It was really fun! our little adventure and all the talks we had on the way!! =) My feet's hurting!! =((

All in all, these home visits are really humbling for me.
Truly, how many of us really cherish the provided-for things around us? It's really tough I know, but, I wish I could more. I pray I stop taking the things around me for granted: the shelter I live under, a whole room to myself(when others may have 6 members in 1 room), food that I can make and cook at home when I m hungry, light, electricity, books, money to eat, parents that can take care of me, parents that are employed and providing for me and family, nice corridors to walk home to...

We really don't know until we see it for ourselves eh? Oh, not see, experience.

Today, I saw social workers with new found respect. It really is not easy, taking care of families, rushing here and there to visit them, providing for them, thinking of how to help them, and not only that, loving them as if they were your own. That involves extra time, extra effort, and that extra heart for them.

Will you?

That's the question, I too, ask myself.

what a tear-jerker.

2008-02-15T03:03:00.002+10:00

P.S: I LOVE YOU was a great movie =)

Thanks Melanny and Abby for the company! =) I never expected a nice show-- thought its gonna be cliche and was really, dragging my body from work to tampines. Thanks you you two! And for booking it =)

I've fallen in love with Ireland: their accent, their music culture, and most importantly, their green green fields.

Just as how I imagined it.

geez. no wonder I scored terribly low marks for Mother Peters in Once a Catholic. The Irish accent I tried to put on (taught by my teacher) was off! =(

I'm a new soul!

2008-02-14T01:00:00.005+10:00

Yael Naim's New Soul

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
hoping I could learn a bit
about how to give and take.

But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul in this very strange world
hoping I could learn a bit about
what is true and fake.

But why all this hate?
Try to communicate.
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make.

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end
cause' you don't understand
everything you have done
why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end come
and give me your hand
I'll take you far away.

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

=)
Such a yummy song!

I feel super happy after listening to this song =) Think: Green fields, sundress, big hat, barefeet. (abby if this sounds familar its my dream vacation/place which I will not call you along cos' you laughed at me!)

Anyways my day in a nut shell:

Happy work =) Went to work as usual, finally done with lit review so my days are less stressful. Nora's leaving =( [keep in contact girl] and in the end Siya and I went to help usher for a grass root leaders briefing. Let the pictures "speak a thousand words" (guess who said that abby)

It has Shuhuahua and I eating apples on one random day. Nora and Me. Siya and Me @ ushering. Typical deprived army boys swooning over magazines (in my humble abode tsk.). Bridge addiction. HUGE YU SHENG PLATTER AT THE GRLs meeting! (Sarah Siya and I stayed back to eat the LEFTOVERS which is alot, loads of crackers yumm!).

Keropok Pict Explanation:
Samuel:"eh I brought some keropok"
Steph: "cool thanks open lah"
Samuel:" I dunno which one to open. One says Indonesian prawn cracker, one says Prawn Cracker"
Steph:"Just open onee...."
Shuuji:"But what's the difference?!"
Yong Long holds it up and says:

Indonesians are more generous.

**this is the part we laugh. =) hahaha.

Siya claims she is my goodie conscience.

WHAT A LOUSY ONE YOU ARE. hahahahahahahahah. I still ate all of the crackers!

AHAHAH. no lah-- you're truly my cosncience. Now I feel bad walking to your area to print, and grab some kueh balu and what not on the way.

Anyways-- the food just now was just crazy. The ushers had to do Yu-sheng ( like say all the words which I trie dto memorise on the taxi there), and in the end Daph said oh, she'll use the mike so we just open and pour.

Turned out I got a really happening table. When Daffy spoke, I fumbled with the plastic and all. In the end, I missed out the timing lah! And I had to remember!!!

Steph:**fumble** err.. just pour lah...
Loud, out spoken, very funny man: "eh girl! MUST SAY LAH- quick say!"
Steph: **notices Daphne stopped talking** errr... (scattering peanuts) stammers: jing ying man wu--means gold and silver around your house!!! (nervously)
People: "hahah! YAY!! GOODDD!"

Similiar occurences for the rest of the stuff.

Steph:"ohh this one! tian tian mi mi!!!!"--pours something that's really easy to pour (not gooey)
Man: "eh GIRL, trying to bluff OLD MAN IS IT. THAT ONE IS OIL LAH!"
Steph: "OHHHh Sorry sorry! (oh crap-- oil?!) errr you you ni ni!"

Moral: Listen to the Chinese waitress whenever they speak. And memorise it.

You never know when you need it.

Finale:

Where does it come from?

This quest?

This need to solve lifes mysteries

when the simplest of questions can never be answered

Why are we here?What is a soul?Why do we dream?

Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all

Not DelveNot Yearning

That's not human nature

Not the Human heart

That is not why we are here

Heroes addiction! Picture taken with humble digicam outside old airport roads. What lovely creastions one can find at one's doorstep. =) I pray for nature to constantly touch our lives!

Go hear my imeem list!!!

=D

madness.

2008-02-13T03:57:00.000+10:00

Pure madness.

hahahah!

I'm so done with Heroes Season 2! Okay now I can't wait for Season 3!!

Am so going to watch some funny you tube videos before I sleep lest the highly action-packed scenes start playing in my dreams.

wheee~

Working on a Sunday

2008-02-11T02:05:00.000+10:00

Yes.

Here I am cramming some eps of Heroes Season 2 here and there--and brushing up my literature review that never seems to end! =(

Anyways, today was fun-- went to God Ma's to eat and played black jack with the cousins and some of their friends. Zeng-ing was just scary-- win big, lose big alright. Gambling is a scary thing! Its so funny cos' Comcare's nextdoor neighbout is EDGD (Elderly, Disability and Gambling Division. Please guys, don't end up having to go there for any gambling issues!

Yesterday was fun too-- had the class come over; played some games etc; ordered a huge pile of pizzas, and then relatives came and I totally relived my bridge fever. Was bridging for the lsat couple of hours till we changed to 500! (Aussie bridge-type game!) Totally fun! =)

Sigh. Gotta keep this short.

What's on my mind: Heroes. More Heroes. and some Marie Digby =)

Marie's -where do I go

And I'm searchin
I'm still searchin for answers
And I'm screaming into the dark
Searching for an answer
Where do I go from here

give me explanations Lord, doubting's getting tough.

Chinese New Year

2008-02-09T02:55:00.001+10:00

Here I am, with much endorphins pumping within me after council dinner =))

That and the very fact that I am baking my long-awaiting bread pudding now!!! Whee---- I m next to the lousy oven thing that I have, waiting to hear the ding- and constantly checking on it. The top is chao-taing! and I can't do anything about it! cept' turn the radiators/heaters downwards, instead of up. I'm awaiting my very first bread pudding attempt, it's actually really easy (the ingredients--got it off the website) and yeaps, hope everything goes well cos' I scaled in down by my own variations! =X [I'll add photos later]

Current update on the pudding: Because I itchy finger go and put choc chips on the top-- the thing mutated and looks like it has chicken pox =((( Think I'm gonna slab on topping later to cover it. =(

YAY!! It's almost done!

Just that I realised its gonna go into the cool cool fridge once its done =((( Too bad I gotta bake at wee hours in the morning cos' tomorrow's gonna be a busy kitchen day for my mom and I don't wanna step on her toes in the kitchen!

PLUS: oh three oh six is coming to my house tomorrow! =)) wheeee~~~ just don't ransack my place everyone. Don't!! hahaha. (omg! I turned around and saw my bread pudding bursting at the seams ahhhh!)

Anyways, today was customary. Had the usual visit to yee-kau-foo's house and ate yummy food! then went for stations of the cross at qop-- then for COUNCIL DINNER at out of the pan (Cityhall!)

Met up with Pei Zhi (yes, we are so totally early again) and yeaps- waited for the rest to come. =) After which I went to do my grocery shopping at Jasons! (I knew they had a great selection of what I wanted) Use my ang-pows to get the whole range of herbs I need to make the stuff I wanted to make for a long long time [sadly, silly me bought milk! and forgot that I'll out till late]

We ate at a lovely crepes place and chatted loudly as usual. All the army boys came with their new coiffure-- slightly tan and buffed up (Ying Xiu and I are seriously jealous) and shared with us their stories! hahaha! Super funny man. But hiong!! Worst than council camp. Anyways we went to Ben and Jerry's next where we finally get to BUY VERMONSTER! after gazillion years of promising the 30th that since we started on our journey together. That includes one verms for Liat Beng for I can't rmb what but he keeps bugging me- and JUSTIN BOON who asked for it when I asked him one math question! Silly boy! haha. Anyways, we walloped the whole tub and ended up talking the whole night away.

I swear. I never not-laugh with I'm with these funny bunch of peeps!

Again, we took ages to travel to the next place-- taking photos, talking, stoning, asking everyone where they wanted to go.. In the end we walked to marina, caught some fireworks for fun (postulated on the possibility of it being a bomb--"artillery" the army boys chorused in unison) and then walked around... some went home, some headed for more entertainment (aka pool, bowl etc) But in the end, Mei Fen suggested we went to buy cards and play at the stairs or something.

We did. And walked to the grassy area outside macs-- took our shows off and started sitting on the grass. (It was nice!) We took out the cards, then guess what-- everyone was like, eh- quite anti-social cos' not every one wanted to play cards! Hai yo.. in the end, we just sat and chatted and chatted about all the interesting stuff in army. Liat Beng's ninja company thing--- is just super scary. Both May and I were looking at each other seeking some form of affirmation that what we were hearing was positively gross when they started talking about their rifles.

=) What a lovely evening anyway.

I love you 30th!!! =)

Anyways! The bread pudding is done!

Looks horrible cos' of the choc chips on top-- but tastes okay! Too dry though! And after testing it, it feels like it needs more than just bread! Too ge-lak!! I'll add banana next time! But the bread combined as I thought it would. Think I need to add more vanilla essence the next time round. =) First attempt completed! Not very satisfying though! The process was!! Cooking is therapeutic!

Now-- where's the carrot cake recipe for shu hua.... =)))

PS: Abigail! You say you got something to tell me!!!! Where are you! (I think I know =P)

Heroes!

2008-02-07T06:23:00.001+10:00

Stephanie just watched the whole of Season one heroes!

Crammed in every episode today and a little yesterday!

WHEE!!!! =)

Television can be such a therapy.

Don't we all?

2008-02-04T01:46:00.000+10:00

Very thought-inspiring and apt after Saturday's prayer meet on whether we are chasing false ideals.

Sometimes, in this continuum of school-A levels, University track-- don't we all chase the same things? The perfect scores, the well-paved route of a scholarship, then renowned university, then career, then.. then...then...

Well there are exceptions, some who would rather be tai-tais, entreprenuers, and others.

Sometimes, i feel trapped in that very same continuum. But I'm glad I have family, friends and God-sent events to always remind me on really, living life to the fullest. Penning it down quickly, it translates to three simple things: do I lead my life meaningfully? does my light shine for others too? do I love enough?

I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness. [Mother Teresa]

Take a read!

A 15 Year-Old Girl's Essay (Commonwealth Essay Competition Winner )
*What the Modern Woman Wants*
by Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

The old woman sat in the back seat of the magenta convertible as it
careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her
lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such
speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was
careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused
fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, Fingerprints
show very clearly on white, Ma.'

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver
mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand.
Finance' 'Liquidation' Asets' 'Investments'... Her voice was crisp and

important and had an unfamiliar tilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like

one of those foreign girls on television.

She was speaking in an American accent.

The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval. 'I absolutely cannot
have this. We have to sell !' Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as

she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails
gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

'I can't DEAL with this anymore!' she yelled as she clicked the phone
shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit
the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap.
She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.

'Sorry, Ma,' she said, losing the American pretence and switching to
Mandarin. 'I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of
problems.' The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and
important.

Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering
what she was thinking. Her mother's wrinkled countenance always
carried the same cryptic look.

The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune,
which broke the awkward silence. 'Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is
Elaine.' Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn't name her Elaine. She
remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very
important for 'networking', Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

'Oh no, I can't see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient
relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.'

Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to
her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother's silence meant she
did not comprehend. 'Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of
joss sticks!'
The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic
bag in defence.

The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost
garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple's roof. The old woman

got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall.

Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos
and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her mother's
side.

'Ma, I'll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,' she
said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense.

The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt

down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.

Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these
years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything
a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with

a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook.

Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome
angmoh man. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men
listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her

everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even

if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success.

What you see is not true, she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me
a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me
only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want

to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally,
with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick
into an urn of smouldering ashes.

She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter

for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came

to the temple and prayed that it was a son.

Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling
and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl.

Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless
baby who could not work or carry the family name.

Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to
her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and

have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed

that her daughter would never have to depend on a man.

She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the
woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with
nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to. A woman who
commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to
speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.

She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter
grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely
understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one

who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her

mother to be 'modern', a word so new there was no Chinese word for it.

Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered

why she had prayed like that. The gods had been faithful to her persistent
prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried

the girl's roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the

soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes.

Her daughter had forgotten her mother's values. Her wants were so
ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best
fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness.
The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When
her daughter left the earth everything she had would count for nothing.

People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great
woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the
ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions. The old woman wished
she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her
daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She
looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the
phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not
good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there - down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a
packet of beehoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her
for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully

and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her

own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved

to and worshipped every day of her life.

Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped
counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would
slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell
at the altar.

The old lady watched her joss stick. The dull heat had left a
teetering grey stem that was in danger of collapsing. Modern women
nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east

one final time to end her ritual. Modern women nowadays want so much

that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.

Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder.She met her
daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration
was etched on her daughter's face. An empty expression, as if she was

ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that

would sow the seeds of happiness.

They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove
along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before.

'Ma,' Bee Choo finally said. 'I don't know how to put this. Mark and I
have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house.
The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer

willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we'd prefer a cosier

penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road.

Once we move in to our apartment we plan to get rid of the maid,

so we can have more space to ourselves...'

The old woman nodded knowingly.Bee Choo swallowed hard. 'We'd get
someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out but once the
maid is gone, there won't be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully

lonely at home and, besides that, the apartment is rather small.

There won't be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided

the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home.

There's one near Hougang - it's a Christian home, a very nice one.'

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. 'I've been there, the matron
is willing to take you in. It's beautiful with gardens and lots of old
people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you'd be
happier there.'

'You'd be happier there, really.' Her daughter repeated as if to
affirm herself. This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food
offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt,

as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore.

She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her

fingers trace the white seat 'Ma?' her daughter asked, searching the rear

view window for her mother. 'Is everything okay?'

What had to be done, had to be done.

'Yes,' she said firmly, louder than she intended, 'if it will make you
happy,' she added more quietly.

'It's for you, Ma! You'll be happier there. You can move there
tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.' Elaine said
triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.

'I knew everything would be fine.'

Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her
mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed

the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now.

She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status,

Career, Love,Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her

old-fashioned ways to weigh her down...

Yes, she was free. Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and
read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. 'Stocks 10%
increase!'

Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her...And while
searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone
screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did
not see the tears.

Music that cures.

2008-02-03T04:23:00.000+10:00

I am currently drowning myself with Corrinne May, water and loads of positive thoughts.

Brace yourself Stephanie-- there are bumpy roads ahead.

Yeaps, this week taught me exactly that.

Sometimes the song Ironic by Alanis just takes the words out of my mouth, or to be exact, my life.

Please, the artists of my storyboard read this with humor.

This week has been bad. To top it off perfectly, I lost my new phone that I got just. Left in a taxi that I (incidentally, since I always check taxis) did not check what I left behind. And mind you, it was a phone I got just to fulfill my role as a Singaporean--being contactable through wireless, and yes, harmful, radiation-type technology (seriously, sometimes I dread it). It was A CHAP-PAH-LAN phone I got which had HUGE FONT SIZE. I din even have time to blog about my new ah-ma phone.

now its gone.

Thanks for my negligence and absolute suayness.

sigh.

This was defintely built upon loads of other stuff that happened in the week.
[being sick, taking taxis cos I was late (and I was in Jurong west)---I hate taxis!, forgetting my laptop when I was already halfway to work, the almost retarded-fight with my best friend, my flip-phone died while I was trying to call Shu Hua to meet her, got a new phone=which was lost 2 days after.... ]

That's defintely mitgated by the fact that I am half dead at 2.40 am and yearning so much for rest.(it was really much much worse--)

The phone bothered me alot, cos' I hated to see money go to waste. esp since Im working and not earning much to even cover my daily expenses. I don't want my mother to say its okay-- I don't want her to waste money on me.

I was weathering the worse hormonal-emotional-psychological conditions in my head just now. Unable to accept how my life seems almost highly tweaked by some scary story-teller who either wants to tease me, OR, I prefer to think that its to make my life more interesting. haha.

BUT-

There's always the good.

Yeaps, like any other human being (normal) I tend to forget what great things happen to me.

There's my mom-- who quietly does all the house prep for CNY and for taking my absence at home.(leave at 7.30, come back at 11.30);
my colleagues-- who are so funny sometimes =);
for shu hua for just being such a great support;
for SAMS, for having yummy fish soup at parkway and for going spontaneous shopping with;
for shuhua and abby for braving the 300 mcqs with me and for hua: who brought yummy raisin bread for me from work;
for the WELF-ers, for the yummilicious and effective meeting at coffee club that night;
for shu hua (again) for going kick boxing with me-- and looking super retarded together;
for Siya, for helping me bring my shoes;
for Farizah!!--thanks for being such a great help for the HSP study, thanks for showing me your world of social work, for showing me the ropes!;
for Darren, who saved me from growing mad over lit review one afternoon by sending me interesting G2 stuff to read;
for Mark and Rach and Steven and Russell, for coming for YC prayer meet =);
for Steph, thanks for the invite to your birthday party;
for Joanne, thanks for the very nice lunch, really enjoyed talking to you! Ilu!;
for my erjie, for listening to me just now and for telling me let everything out: the perfect release I need.

and, thank you da jie-- for cheering me up when I was literally flooding up by saying:

"eh girl, I tell you hor, Lillian Too actually say that this month snakes hor, must becareful of thieves and lost of items! I pass you the book you read okay"
"what?! Oh are you telling me that cos' it relates to me now! I don't believe"
"hai yo, you just read lah, believe or not, its okay. okay, I read for you, and I pass to you tomrrow"
"what? read to me now? okay"
"not now lah, I m sleeping already. I'll read now, then share with you"
"-.-"

If she were as happening to the bible, hahahhahaa. =P

That's so funny.

See Stephanie, there's more happy things to be gleeful about than dwell on the sad ones.

=)

every single tear I cry is a diamond in his eye; every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer.

Ho-hum.

2008-01-30T02:58:00.000+10:00

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours
Things in the past,
Things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my heart, alll of my praise
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

300 Mcqs. Repeat. Lather.

2008-01-29T02:40:00.000+10:00

i just crammed 300 mcqs into my diminishing brain space.

Went to work as usual(time's passing WAY faster now), and met two new interns/temp staff!
=)

Celebrated Faizah's Birthday at ayam penyet--yums yums. (i never get hungry at work) Chionged through the compilation with Siya-- and managed to get it out by the time we leave! =)

I then rushed down to Ubi for driving e trial. Shu and I knew we are going to drill ourselves this time.

I sat in that cold cold room from 7.30 to 10.05. REDOING AND REDOING>

It was to the point where I read the answers only and get it right. In fact, I started getting careless mistakes towards the end cos' i was so beaten up.

MCQs are such a killer.

Thereafter, we went to Shu's place for yummy home cooked food. =D thanks shu hua ma ma. I really miss home cooked food. =(

I shall blog again soon--- my mind's whoozed up and in need of sleep!

Can't wait for YFP tomorrow!

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMELLY MELLY! I love you so much dear! Thanks for being YOU! Cant wait for the surprise on Friday!!!!

TGIF

2008-01-13T02:16:00.000+10:00

Truly, I appreciate what it means. (Just like Shu Hua, who inspired this post with hers)

There's so much to talk about.

PS: Ignore the previous post! I was typing it during my lunch break(free time) and some how it did not turn up.

Basically, I wanted to tell the people around me(yes, I know I have been fairly elusive in my smses and calls--sorry joel for calling you back only 2 nights later.). THAT MY OFFICE ROCKS.
1. There is the trolley-man that comes every morning and afternoon to deliver snacks and tea/coffee[trans-fat water]
2. I am sitting 5 metres away from the water/coffee station [winning 1st place for being closest to the oasis] AND, a whooping 3rd place to the food station. That being I have to walk twice the distance. HAHA. The food station is cool, loads of fattening and non-fattening stuff which me and Si ya enjoy. Shu Hua's far away so she doesn't seem to pop by... only for her ginger bread man. HAHA.
3. There is the KEROPOK man that comes every week. This week he came on Thursday! And the whole office was like "keropok man keropok man!" Packets of yummy crispy keropok were bought and shared 5 minutes after.
4. Then the water in the water station went out.. and water-man came. I feel so happy to sit the closest to the water-thing. It's so dehydrating to sit in an air-conditioned environment for long hours.

5. The sweetest thing in my office that beats the trolley man's trans fat tea?
My extra-marital affair with Shu Hua. I have to make a public apology to Abby cos' she forced me. [this is for you] Shu Hua proposed to me this Thursday! =) It was the sweetest thing I've received in the office. She gave me an orange box, inside a bue box inside a green box..(you get the idea) and finally, a tiny green box with a ring in it! Black. =) Plus, a "boy"-friend I keep on my table that keeps staring at me. Its a christmas tree lolly, so I named it Chris. See how work gets to you! I'll post pictures later.

Abby, I still love you. ALTHOUGH YOU KEEP MISSING MY CALLS. haha you sleep so early lah! I feel the juxtaposition of our office environment frightening. In months, I'll see a lean, fit, very muscular Abby, and the very much opposite me.

Anyways, TGIF! Shu Hua took the words out of my mouth when she said that. I really appreciate office people. haha. Sometimes when we sit together during work hours and talk, mind you, we don't talk about personal lives, we sit and talk about work! About what we do, about our respect for our colleagues for their ability to balance so much at one time, and about the working adults in our lives.

HOW DO YOU ALL DO IT?

Currently, I am in my phase of transition. From a variety packed day to one that it pretty much fixated at one place. Thank goodness my job is more-or-less on the go, I get to visit homes and FSCs to talk to the people there, so its cool. I thought on the first day of work, IT IS COUNCIL ALL OVER AGAIN! Cos' the timelines goes up, the things to do lsit comes up too. But I figured in school, it was different, there's many activities at one time---lessons in morning, afternoon lunch with class, then council project planning, then council project execution lah di dar..

Now, it's whip out your lifebook(with personalised email!) and clickity-clackity all day.

It's different. Office and school. But I am embracing the change! It's really a good experience, this internship! And I am glad I am in it!

Joke of the week:
Gwen to next door neighbour: "Oh.. Jia you arh.. it means BE STRONG MY LOVE"
Daphne: "JIA YOU MEANS BE STRONG MY LOVE?????"
Xin Wei:"WHAT?"
Gwen:"No, she asked me what "Ai ren Jia you" means in english, so I translate and like, reverse the sequence... hai yo.."
All:"ohh.."

If you're not tickled by it, I guess its those times where you gotta be there to laugh. hoho.

Days in a week:
First day: Induction with the HR dept, followed by lunch at staff canteen, and then readings on the inter-ministerial committee on dysfunctional families. [i'm glad to be part of it, its really interesting to explore and question the definition of df and all] got my email account set up! =)

GYLC MEET UP WITH JO AND ATIQAH: I love you guys! =)

Second day: Readings on HSP. Trolley man was first spotted! Allergy attack! Shu Hua my boyfriend took me to Thomsom Med Centre.

Third day: Visit to BSS to talk to the social workers! Really inspiring. Toa Payoh Lunch with colleagues! More research and readings.

Fourth day: Clearer on what I was suppose to do and all---study the impact on Healthy Start Programme in the Long run, rough work for a longitudinal study in the future. Lunch at Novena Square at spinellis! Shu Hua proposed to me! Have a new table-friend, CHRIS! Met Natha at Novena when I was buying flats!

Fifth day: Casual day! =) Lunch at fork and spoon! More readings..

TGIF!

Work's cool. And I really think it's gonna get better! =)

Anyways, I had class outing today!

Like finally.

Denise, Shuuji, Jensen, Joel, Yong Long, Samuel, Esther, Michel, Kevin and I met up! Had lunch at pasta mania and then SEttlers =) Shuuji you look better tan and bald and muscular =) Samuel--get a tan! You need to stay out in the sun! hahaha.

It was fun. =) Had alot of bang-bang games and taboo and all.

I miss the school setting though.

I really miss lunch in school.
Where the boys just go off half way and leave the girls as they do the pull-ups.
Or when everyone buys soya-bean milk altogether.
Or, when everyone (actually just the boys) plays the whoever-finishes-last-put-back-plates game and Michel constantly loses.
Or, when its birthday time and cake get smashed everywhere.
Or, when it is civics and Mr Veera is not there, and we end up on friendster searching for Eepin's crush, Ms Fong.
Or, when Joanne Peh comes and Joel just enters his primal state of mind. We witness discovery channel with our very own eyes.
Or, when its lunch-- and we talk about random things and laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh.
Or, when its swimming time, and we all go to macs.
Or, in class, when some one says something funny. Like Joel's "to the left" nonsense, Seha and YL's fight with Mr Desai over diagrams, and all.. and yes, MR DESAI (big component)

or..Or..OR....

Those are really the stuff I miss. =)

I'm really glad to see you guys again today! Just makes these memories alot more valuable.

Thank you oh three oh six!

and yes, TGIF,TGIS-- it's family gathering today due to Ah Ling jie's birthday and jie fu's too.
It was nice meeting up and ending the week with various peoples.

Why do you hide among the lost and lonely.
I give you my heart and my soul.
I love you, Lord.

Office Cravings

2008-01-11T16:53:00.000+10:00

Passion

2008-01-09T23:43:00.001+10:00

Today, I witnessed pure passion and fire in a pair of humble eyes.

To build a cohesive and resilient society: MCYS mission statement.

When I visited Beyond Social Services today and had an opportunity to sit in a research session done by MCYS on the Healthy Start Programme and "multi-challenged" families, I witnessed passion, love, and wisdom from the HSP social workers.

When they were sharing on this family who lives on the beach-- rent a tent from BSS and sleep at ECP-- due to reasons that are not leisure, but rather- because they were homeless.

I never knew.

In response to the research question on whether you consider this families "dysfunctional", she repiled:

"I don't think you can call them dysfunctional. That's what the papers coin. They can still function as a family. And you know what, I firmly believe that every family has their own strengths. Even the beach-example family. Do you know that there is a community of homeless people that resides at the beach. They are close-knit and in itself, form a resilient society."

Food for thought.

Are we merely judging people through our own rose-tint glasses? Are we not appreciating enough? Do we forget the helpless, poor and troubled?

The social workers are just amazing people.

Allergy.

2008-01-09T00:04:00.000+10:00

Allergy.

Something I won't fancy.
Itch-blotch-red-itchy-swollen-puffy eyes-hot-hot-feverish.
Face feels like orange peel.
Like every pore owns a sudden increase in radius-space in all directions.

On day 2 of work.

While life doesn't soud too dandy, I'm glad for

Abigail's very fu-yan reply to my emails
Shu hua for bringing me to the hospital and for being my MCYS-buddy. =) Love you mre than you know. Thanks for entertaining my emails.
Work-friends, for bringing food and sharing it generously.
Water cooler that's 5 metres away from my overly spacious work-desk.
$2 lunches at the STAFF CANTEEN and free mutton pieces.
Xin Wei for giving me work
JOANNA AND ATIQAH FOR THE NIGHT I WILL CHERISH. I love you guys so much! GYLC was a dream... kae guys, please plan for Guam trip! TAE! I said hi! I heard your very drama-story..
(hopeful) that mel has a safe trip
SAMS for being understanding./ that i did not turn up for our meeting..
03/06. yes, I would be lying if I said I have been meeting you guys, BUT I DO THINK ABOUT YOU ALL OKAY! Just that I got a horrid phone to sms.. please meet up soon =)
COUNCIL: SO SORRY bout missing dinner tonight.. gotta go thompson see doctor.

Speaking of which,

I got to go sleep now.

Tomorrow there's a meeting at a faraway place. =) Am I excited, YES!

SHU HUA, tomorrow is the first day I won't be there in the morning to email you.

Love you all

Sorry for the MIA, if you really want to contact me, sms me, then if I don't reply, sincerely know that I was in a difficult position to sms back-- then be patient (see, train your character) and if you are desperate!=call me! I give long talks. hahahahah.

Love you allllllll---all except miss EHH-LLEEERR--GEE.

bboo you

Stuff I want to blog about

2007-12-28T22:49:00.000+10:00

24th: last min shopping plus chicken dinner and love actually.
25th: Manny's place and last min shopping and family dinner and presents.
26th: Abby's place, laura's place, YCm mtg, Cousins outingg!
27th: ET and Moca, SAMS stayover
28th: Driving madness, Lunch at Katongs, nua-work.

Will do so soon.... Just need to finish the one other thing on my list.

Love today.

2007-12-24T03:12:00.000+10:00

I was super excited for today!

Today was a nice comforatble day spent with lovely lovely friends! =)

First had applicant meeting at 3 at Starbucks, Wheelock- pretty short and decisive meeting. Finally had a nice chat with Kwan Hong, Nat and Edmund! =) haha haven't joined them for a panel-applicant meeting as such for a long time!! Nice getting to know them better everytime I see them! [sheesh that reminds me! I gotta do the slides!]

Then, I made my way down to Clarke Quay where Peizhi came up to me and said, WE ARE THE EARLIEST! hahaha. Typical Typical. hahaha. The girls met up, talked loud as hell in the Mrt station whilst waiting for the guys and headed to Manhatten Fish Market where they denied us tables initially cos everyone was not there yet. Anyways, it was a SUPER FUN DINNER. Quoth Ying Lin, one of the best =) Great conversations, some quite controversial, but never lacking of fun! I can't remember eating the great food can! All I can remember is just laughing and laughing and laughing. Man, I wish I could record all the funny quips everyone made! =) I swear we made SO MUCH NOISE at the restaurant!

We then headed down to MINDS! (thank goodness for all the reservations we made!) We walked and walked and walked and soaked in the night scene! =) Then we played Taboo first! The guys are really bad at this, they kept playing sharades instead! haha. Guys vs Girls, you know who won =) hahaha. But the guys got really good towards the end! =) Then we wanted to play Deal or no Deal, but the game was way to complicated.

IN THE END, we broke into two tables (when GP came) and of course, Joel, Aaron, Xiu and Me ended up playing our favourite: FAMILY BUSINESS! while the rest broke for "brainless" games. [brainless= nothing negative, just cute games that no need to think so much] HAHAHA. IT WAS THE BEST FAMILY BUSINESS SESSION I EVER EVER EVER HAD. Of course, there was my "ally-ally-ally-eh-eh-ally" Ying xiu! =) We owned YOU TWO! hahaha. Then Joel and me faced off in the last round, damn, he won! haha.

Again, my voice box sounds as though I've been screaming the whole 3 hours. And my abs seem stronger already from all the laughing!

Enough talk: PICTURES TIME!
[will edit the piccys another day.. the computer lagging!]

Till then,

I LOVE YOU 30th! You're forever deep rooted in my heart!

"Christmas, we DEAL or NO DEAL!"

2007-12-23T02:20:00.000+10:00

I swear my mother is so funny.

Guess what she quipped when my sister was trying out her new skirt Augustine bought for her and I was busy chatting with my council-mateys (while listening to Jordin's Tattoo),

Mom: "eh eh eh, on Christmas day, we play Deal or no Deal to open presents lah!"
Erjie and I: *stunned* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. (bursts into wild laughter after that)
Mom: "yah yah. We will mix up our presents and see who gets what for fun" [context: our presents cannot be interchanged, the 3 sisters have widely varied tastes in presents]
Erjie and I: "okay okay okay!"

Erjie:"Deal or no deal..so three of us have 3 presents to guess. Eh no! We have 4 lah! Then you be banker. The extra present for you to taunt and ask us "eh.. you sure or not.."
Me: "yah yah. then to mix the presents up, we play pass the parcel! "--laughter entails.
Erjie:"yah yah! We play music then pass so fun!"
Mom:"huh? Who will play the music? hahah Later ask Jimmy play music?"
Erjie:"hai yah, just say START or STOP lah!"
Me: "hahahahah. okay! Later he think we all mad"

YAY.

It's starting to feel like Christmas already.

Caught a glimpse of you Mr Cloudy!

2007-12-19T01:32:00.000+10:00

Words cannot describe how happy I was to be able to be forced out of bed again by my sister at 8.30 am. I've been waking at 12pm ever since camp! (My sis said I was catching up on lost time. hoho)

My sister woke up to run around our lovely Kallang area. I was super hesistant. But guess what got me out of bed!

Mr "I-never-see-before" Cloudy!

He was grey, sharing nice contours not unlike that of cool mountains. That was the EXACT COLOUR. If you think omg steph is mad, isn't it like rain clouds, it isn't! Look carefully!

Half Smiley Mr Cloudy and Half Scary Mr Cloudy

I love this shot! It's half half. It may not strike you, but it striked me. HOHO-- KI fellows, its called aesthetics right? hahaha. I'll leave the intepretation to yourself!

This following two is just plain imaginary. I was walking to change out of my slippers cos' I decided to run instead. And I had an imaginary pigeon-overload moment. haha.

You know, like the ones in the movies where like thousands of millions of pigeons fly around you as you walk. HAHA. Look how imaginative I can get. Hey, look where imagination got Walt Disney.

So anyways, I head back home after the really short run and watched a lil bit of Ellen(yes, I am still her fan). Did some essays, thenheaded down to meet STORM! =)

We hung around Cathay, then went to Suntec, arcaded, Ben-and-jerried =)(yums!), and pooled! and yes, cabbed back to church.

Thank you STORM for being such lovelies! haha. We had so much fun at the arcade cos' Annabelle was mad about winning a prize. I was super shocked when she said she ever spent $70 bucks on that stacking game! GOODNESS THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO IT.

Plus, we were probably the only group who started playing the guitar at Ben and Jerry's while waiting for Jeremy. Hoho. It was so funny. I swear we were getting weird stares! PLUS, not forgetting who OWNED THE GUYS AT POOL! Haha. The girls of course!

Three cheers for girl power.

Then we cabbed down to Church where I met Jason and the rest for follow-up meeting. Thanks Jason for the POP-POP! I will keep the WMD in a safe place in my room where we can all play together. Haha. It is the most interested gift I got from Malaysia I must say. YAY so exciting. THank you Pris for the free Pasta!! =) WATCH IT TRANSFORM TO GREAT FOOD THIS THUR!

Hump Ahead: Mishap Pending or Incoming Challenge?

I take the latter, Mr Cloudy.

Thank you for the Sun, the rain, the Cloudys I love to admire. Send the grey cloudys away so that we have more direction!

simple moments

2007-12-16T02:04:00.000+10:00

Indeed, it's the simple moments that inspire me to once again BLOG.

Goodness. This week has been such a whirl! I've been caught up at many places, but funny enough, the one thing that made me SMILE and want to blog is:

Coming home after one whole day at church and fellowship to my parents (not growling and snarling at my absence at home) BUT!

Smiling at me, smiling at each other, smiling at the TV.

They were watching Asian Idol! hoho. Tis' was absolutely heartwarming.

ANYWAYS,

Today had youth mass and skit and world youth day meeting!! Definitely one of those days I claim to reach carpe diem status. Gosh, the last time I had this moments was council-period. Yayness, my life is swinging into mobility after As. Though sometimes I hide in the lull-ness of the As, the nothing-else-but-study period. [yes, I don't wish to work. I wish to school forever, contrary to some these days, I do not want to grow up]

Isn't it nice to enjoy the child-like reverie with friends and family? Sheesh, I do not want to grow up to the "stressed woman" I was acting as just now at skit.

So yes, today was uberly fun. I met up the rest of the Skit-TERS for more practice just now. THANK YOU skitTERS for the fun and friendship we all had! =) It was great just working with you all. ESP Crystal! Your warm ups are really fun! =) Thank you carol-lers: Ryan, Bryan, Jonita, Amanda, Lynette, Andrew! You guys are so funny! Thank you Bridgettt, for being your MS FOXXY. Thank you imeee, for being the "unbelieving woman"! Thank you Prisss for being such a good "drunkard" and for your corny jokes..! Thank you Alex boy for your helpfulness! haha. Woooo. It was fun! =)

Had youth mass then skit, then gathering at 3C for the video! Nice video!! =) Too bad the music can't be heard. Thank you Alex for making it =)

THEN... world youth day briefing! =) Yay!! I truly can't wait. Joanne, I very excited to help you plan welfare activities! (very inspired by dear Claire and Xin Hui to be WELFAREE!) haha. If you are wondering, World Youth Day is a congregation of Catholic youths from all around the world. I'm superbly excited about it! It's my wish to see millions of youth gathered at one place to praise and worship. I reckon I'll be blown away by that scene.

Just came back from makan at Beer Garden siglap. I think I'm super lousy lah! haha. Been in TEEJAYY but haven't been to that place.

Sigh.. I got to go wash up now, blog again laters.

Heroes for Christ =)

2007-12-11T04:06:00.001+10:00

Just one word:

Incredible.

I'be been at camp for the past 4 days if you guys are wondering =) haha (yes, I know I was uncontactable). Camp Incredible, was what it all created to be--- an amazing experience!

So here I am, after 16 hours of sleep, holding the rubiks cube to sleep- thereafter, going for lunch and ikea shopping with sis- and then, caught in the new-cutting-age techonology of keeping in "touch"--> facebook. [still in awe at the present shift in the way people communicate through facebook.] Keeping up with all the new friends I've made =)

Anyways, I shall dribble on the details on a blog post later on, but in a nutshell- everythign about the camp was amazing.

Thank you God for:
-Great organizers

-Great fellow facils
(Thanks Sharon and Jeremy for being who you are and letting me know you better =))

-Great teammates
(GO STORM!--Annabelle, Ryan, Edwin, Charmaine, Josh. Thank you for just being so enthusiastic and funny =) I'l never forget the laughs we had. You've touched me in more ways than one! Please keep in touch!)

-Great skitt-ers
(funny Darren, Ann Nee and Crystal for the LAUGHTER every morning and after midnight when we practice.. all the sushi nonsense and japanese fever. oh goodness... AHH. so funny)

-Great FRIENDS-->Bridgey and Angelaaa!
(thank you so much for everything! =) it was really really really really cool to have worked together in this campfire- your confidence in God's good timing of weather, bridget was really quite inspiring! and Angela, for your energy and postive energy you bring even though your throat was hoarse. I love you two!! =) so cool-- GO GAMMA!)

-Great Praise and Worship!
(thank you band for your music; sincere, heartfelt, and very powerful =) Do send me songs! I love the song selection!)

-Great everybody in the camp!
(thank you each and everyone of you for touching my life in one way or another! Through your small actions or your short sharings during spirituals--> see you aroudn in church/youth mass/ church gathering!)

-oh! Great room-mateys!
(for being so tolerant with my sleeping habits HOHO. Love you!!)

=>I'm so sorry if I left out anyone..

Honestly, this camp was a great release for me, from all the stress gathered through the univeristy applications etc-I guess its' an amazing feeling to discern a clearer purpose in life.

Thank You, most importantly- for giving me answers to my doubts and fears. Thank you for sending me people to inspire me to love you more and more each day.

Awe

2007-11-28T23:59:00.000+10:00

Words-its beauty continues to amaze me with its malleability.

I cannot help but escape from the never-ending day through running into "that CD shop" near my mother's office just now. I spent a good half an hour filling my cranial matter with wordless tunes that seem to lift. I am dying to lay my hands on the High Society Passion Cd and MY PUTUMAYO CHRISTMAS CD. =( I think only PAGEONE has it.

These few days have been breath-taking--- I only wish I had enough dancing spirit in my hands to dance the week on the keyboard.

Meanwhile, I am inspired by:

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?

Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.

So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess.

And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

*Ingrid Michaelson's Breakable.

Lyrics that have amazing poetry.

I want to travel to the place that Corrinne May had her music video taken- and pen my life in lyrical verse.

---meanwhile, i'm off to call Darell for his NIE Project clarification!!

Cadence

2007-11-21T01:19:00.000+10:00

Oh I am still nostalgic about last year's Grad night theme: Perfect Cadence. (Kudos to dear Xin Hui and Carol who thought of it).

The A levels would have been a perfect cadence if not for the scary physics paper. =(

But anyway!

ITS OVER.

I'm just glad to have spent a typical day with the class--roaming around, walking around, laughing with and at each other---at a not-so-typical place for us, VIVO. =) I love you guys so much.

Walking around VIVO, I JUST CANT KEEP IT INSIDE BUT TO SAY:

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!

*Picture courtesy of http://brandoesq.blogspot.com/%20(CHECK OUT REALLY NICE YUMMIES THERE!)

GOSH! I am SO HAPPY!!!!!! It's such a happy feeling to walk into stores and hear nice christmassy music (and almost feel the music translating itself to empower the other senses to feel the crisp wind and breath the minty air).

YAY!

Moreover, Christmas marks THE ARRIVAL OF THE BEST THING ON EARTH!(okay, one of the best)

I WANT THE PEPPERMINT MOCHA FRAP! Along with my PUTUMAYO MUSIC which i discovered in PAGEONE(that place rocsk by the way- yes, shuuji, I WILL BUILD A LIBRARY LIKE THAT IN MY HOUSE NEXT TIME, with the sparkly twinkling ceilings we saw at Toys R us!)

If you're wondering what is putumayo world music, IT ROCKS TOO! =)

http://putumayo.com/ (Click to listen to the tango beatt!!--ahh goes so well with coffee and a book and nice sofa to couch my body on)

This is so good too! =) Now I have to make my way to vivo just to buy the cd! YAY! I am going to make my way to IKEA and get nice ambience stuff and revamp my room to become a chill out corner (something we never did have in the KI room-which we tried to get..)

Anyways, capturing the moment as it is now- I think I'm on an off-tangent. Today does not feel like the end of exams- its HIGHLY SURREAL. It feels like "what?! its over????" when 124 hours I was "ARGGG. I can't wait for it to be over". The weirdest thing: I felt halfway during the As, that it was not As!!! I shall explore these mugging-related issues when my mind starts pondering about the mystery behind the As...

Meanwhile, my mind is just too preoccupied with putumayo tunes and loads of peppermint hallucinations. YEAPS.

Merry Christmas!

And Happy End of A's!

*oh shuuji: the peanut thing at Daiso's NICE! =)

You finally realised

2007-11-10T03:06:00.000+10:00

Its truly funny how people can always go matter-of-factly and say: "life's so short, must cherish, etc etc". How many of us can live up to it? Do I mean what I say as I display my msn alter ego as carpe-diem? Gees. It's tough-not saying its impossible.

But funny how "out of sight, out of mind" applies more sometimes. You don't constantly see something, its constantly left out of your mind. It's applications are wide- and definitely present in our lives. You don't see your secondary school mateys, you don't think of them until you hear a song that reminds them of you (poke: shu hua).

Likewise,

You don't see your relatives(sometimes, not distant ones mind you) , it won't occur to the cranial matter in our thick skull to even just think of them.

It's scary when you're heading to tuition, just finshed breakfast, getting on with every-day life when you hear your father go all unusually silent as he picked up his phone, and all you hear is a few hardly-audible umms and yahs, and the final,

-bye.

I un-cautiously broke the silence by nonchalantly bursting out a "what happen", not paying attention to the obvious situation. And yes, I am shocked- in a very real way and immediately smsed my two sisters.

It's sad when you know someone in your big extended family moved on, whether or not you have any fond memories with him/her. I admit, its not a depressing sad that plants uncontrollable sobs on you. But, somehow, you just feel a tug on your heart-It's really uncanny- almost like a spontanteous emotion of witnessing a blossomed flower dimming its glow on the family tree. You think you're a passer-by looking at the tree and feeling the loss from afar, but you're not. You're inextricably attached to the family tree.

It made me realise something-

do we "remember when he/she is far away" or now?

I always hope I'm doing the latter, but the former always happens.

God bless youand your family, uncle kee boon.

donuts loves me. =)

2007-11-05T15:28:00.000+10:00

hahahahaha.

I am severing ties with my love for donuts.

NOT.

However, its fattening and there's just too much competition around! Munchy donuts.. this recent Raindow donut or donut donut (or insert funny mixture of donut-juxtaposed words) came up at Boon Keng. Some little red dot of thingy-thing came up at Kovan too.

Yea, I still like how they look, but am highly reluctant to join the blind band wagon on this trend-track.

Well, I'm glad to announce-Donuts love me. =)

HAHA.

Anyways, I think the A level stress manifested itself differently in me ( comparatively to a wrung-out mad mugger). I think the greatest stress (as concluded by my short walk with Claire, Wai Kit and Xt today) is the unknowingness as you pen down your answers. Unknowingness not from the accuracy of the answers, but rather, whether or not what you do is enough. Will I be brutally thrown out of course once the evil bell curve is drawn?

Oh well-- I've got more things to be happy about-

Seha!: Thanks for the nice card you made me! =) I ll miss the times we listen to muttons and message each other- our song guessing attempts and all the jokes we reocutn the day after. =)) and yes, I will watch grey's anatomy to keep up with you! =))

Shuuji: I'm going to find picture of you too! hoho. It's scary how we're quite alike in many ways. Finding that you palyed virtual villagers too- and keeps the sentimental stuff you received beforee and etc etc HAHAH. Thanks for being my fellow 3rd novvy!

Jensen: I've blogged. hahhaa.

And the happiest thing at this moment:

Realising ELLEN IS BACK. WOO HOOO.
Yes, I am still harbouring dreams of emailing her and me being in the studio.

--anyhoo. my tech-savvy mommy is quite cool:

Maria Sim just sent you a nudge.

stephy// carpe diem // says:
hello
Maria Sim says:
h hi hi hi

--it's back to the grind stone. =)

thank you.

2007-11-04T18:56:00.000+10:00

Take my five loaves and two fishes

Do with it as you will

I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions

All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all

I hope it's not too small

corrinne may's five loaves and two fishes.

thank you-

family: for always being there, eighteen years and more. for the great dinner and the even better, family spirit and love.

SAMS: for the lovely flowers that arrived as I awoke, a lovely triplet of joy peace and laughter, everything you guys meant.

YC: for the lovely surprise, the great affirmation/hugs! you provided and for just keeping everyone who's studying in prayer. (and the BEN AND JEERYS. hoho)

friends: thank you for the lovely cheery messages! it was truly heartwarming.

and of course, dear shuuji. My fellow happening 3rd novvy. =) for your "attempt to girlify me" and the "one year new" card that was beautiful! haha.

thank You-

-you whom I offer all my fears, inhibitions, burdens and my ambitions to.

happy mugging everyone. yea.

Keep Breathing

2007-10-13T00:14:00.000+10:00

The storm is coming, but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world,
instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

But all that I know is I'm breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now
Now, now, now

All that I know is I'm breathing.

SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE A BIG FAN OF GREY'S ANATOMY! Its the SEASON FINALE!!

_utopia.

2007-10-05T00:13:00.000+10:00

We'd gather around
All in a room
Fasten our belts
Engage in dialogue
We'd all slow down
Rest without guilt
Not lie without fear
Disagree sans jugement

We would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and
Enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and
Open and reach out and speak up

This is utopia
This is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia
This is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate W

e'd open our arms
We'd all jump in
We'd all coast down
Into safety nets

We would share and listen and support and welcome be propelled by passion not
Invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference
Be gentle and make room for every emotion

This is utopia
This is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia
This is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

We'd provide forums
We'd all speak out
We'd all be heard
We'd all feel seen

We'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we would heal be humbled
And be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know when to do which we'd
Release and disarm and stand up and feel safe

This is utopia
This is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia
This is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

Uninvited

2007-10-04T23:31:00.000+10:00

Alanis Morissette remains on my replay list.

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd meet shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited

An unfortunate sight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed

You're uninvited
An unfortunate sight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

Have yet to figure out the meaning, one beyond the surface.
But her angst is so real. Amazing.

Angst- nice word to go with that vocabulary game I love to play in school =) hoho. Would'nt it be nice to spell it out and away?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjTB6EG3xGo&mode=related&search=

Anaesthetic, don't wear off.

2007-09-30T17:21:00.000+10:00

Just got back from Church, then Cafe Oliv: Sister's Birthday Celebration, AND THEN, Kallang North East to remove the irritating corn on my left toe that I have been constantly complaining about.

IT WAS SO SCARY AND GROSS.

That tiny part looks like it got bitten off. I can't put explicit pictures here but, ewww. It's just sad looking at the grave of my corn right now. It's not simply a cul de sac of empty skin. It's scappy and rough. =/

The doctor's quite funny, and pretty patient with me. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED. The day went from oh happy birthay da jie, to oh no I dread going home.

I had an INJECTION. Something I can't say I adore, especially since it was at my toe! How queer. I'm sure you would freak out too. It was'nt at the conventional shoulder or arm or stuff. Eurgh. I wanted to get the children's cream to numb the part then get a jab to numb the part further. But my mother din want to wait another 15 mintues. Oh the horror. =(

The jab was okay. After which, we went to the laser room WHERE THERE WAS A SCARY MACHINE laser thing. He started using laser to burn off the part lah- I could not see what was happening but my oh my there was smoke snaking off from the back of my foot. it took a good 8 minutes. With the doctor constantly poking the corn to see if its still there. He suspects it's still there, apparently it was a long-lived, deep rooted one. Apparently, I can go back to "touch up" for free now, since its unclear if its still there. I did not get a chance to see hwo it looked like but my mom did. When I asked her to describe how like she said this:

Mom: How its like? It looks like joss stick lor! The laser's red right, and when it hits your corn it smokes up and burns it.
Me: Huh? How can- can describe it further??
Mom: Like cigarrette lah. Burn, you know BURN??
Me: -shot her an unconvinved side long glance-
Mom: Like Joss stick burn.. Hai ya I go home take joss stick and burn you want or not?
Me: !!! Crazy!

I think my mother's super rubbish lah.

My toe's still numb and when I walk I feel a click-ity feeling there. I wish the anaethetic will not wear off. =( My mom was not being helpful. At the bus stop waiting for Papa she was like, wait lor, wait until the anaethetic wear off, then you will feel the pain.

I'm not waiting for that time to come. Great, my foot's got pins and needles as well. eurgh. The laser burned not only a grave for the corn, but my entire afternoon too. =(

On a lighter note: Cafe Oliv's got great food =)

Happy Birthday Da Jie! You've hit my favourite number =)
May you find great happiness in all that you do and live the year ahead to the fullest!
I miss: Your presence at home, all the parkway-ing we do after church and all. And the times we go Chinatown just to go to Ocean.
I don't miss: The toilet towel affair. Water does evaporate on their own. I'm glad it moved to your new house, the island at the sea. HOHO. Just joking!

Banana Pancakes

2007-09-23T22:52:00.000+10:00

I feel like a balloon set free into the guilty winds of indulgence, directed only by happy surges.

(take a listen to the song banana pancakes, gosh its so cute =)))

Friday was the end of prelims papers, but man, a start of a brand new race route to the (enter resounding death-like, bioshock type music) A LEVELS. I'm doing the great mind shelving thing by putting the pending prelims grades at the far corner of my brain away from its grey matter.

Anyways, everyone is probably having their fair share of rest I reckon. Mine's been great so far =)

Went out with Denise and Wan Ching on Friday to get our Sketches renuion, but Denise and I ended up waiting 4 hours for Ching we watched HSM2 to kill time. (HOHO.) Plus, we had Sakae Sushi at Park Mall which left me bursting at the seams. =/ It was a great catch up by the way.

Saturday night was way awesome =) Spent it celebrating Nab's and Nat's birthday along side council meet up and chill out. There was a girl's day out and guy's outing (the girls went flea market shopping and the guys went LAN). [sheesh.] I missed the nice flea market shopper-ing but made it for dinner =) IT WAS NICE. The ambience, the people, the camaraderie, BAM, the right ingredients for me to feel this euphoria/tranquil/happy feeling whenever I listen to Jack Johnson's Banana Pancakes. After the great food and catching up, we, as usual spent like 45 mins deciding where to go next so that everyone is involved. The bulk of the girls went home but May and I wanted to hang out longer. The guys were itching for some LAN I guess so we went to the lane of shops and cafes near Plaza Sing. Haha, 30th guys, being as gentlemanly as they always are, offered to play board games cos' of May and I but it was full and we ended up at the DODGY LAN GAME SHOP UNDERNEATH IT.

Yes, we entered it and I started playing my first counter-strike games.

I KILLED JOEL!

(K, I admit, once. Out of the countless times the rest killed me, including Joel. I barely had the chance to move forward by 5 metres or sth. May and I admitted it was violent! And gosh, the adrenaline high got me awake till 1 am. Thanks Nabil for being so patient with me and BOO to whoever who shot me relentlessly.)

Anyways, I can't believe that McDonald's actually can have comebacks! you mean they slumped?! Quite unbelievable here in Singapore. Despite all the health conscious things going around, I still witness many Mac goe-ers. (Guilty me included.) Sigh. Mcdonalds should never have existed. Its really so unhealthy. =(

Signing off, I just want to say:

Quoth Claire "I'm proud to be a 30th".

In every sense. =)

Everyday I Pray that I can see the Sunrise

2007-08-25T14:13:00.001+10:00

Everyday I Pray that I can see the Sunrise

Everyday. Breakfast's made.

Not always of the nicest shade.

Hurriedly you wake me from my newly changed bed

Hurriedly I say bye without turning my head.

I; She says, I'll do it.

Do everything, sometimes ending in a fit.

Angrily, irritated, annoyingly,

But always lovingly.

Pray? I try, everyday.

I admit, perhaps only when my skies are grey.

That I admit. Do I remember before I sleep?

Enter swiftly I do indeed; a slumber deep.

Do I remember at the start of each day?

On some rare occasions,

I may.

Can one pen down pages of unspoken words?

No. It'll belong itself in mother earth.

Carpe diem, waste no time, she'll

See through your unknowing mimes.

The day will come, when we do not know.

Wait not for the

Sunrise: For it is everywhere, that I know.

Beautiful Seed: I've got it!

2007-08-11T01:44:00.000+10:00

Every hope, every power, lies in the heart of a seed that flowers

Interwined all across the land

We're all seeds in the maker's hands.

You can be a witness. You can be a prophet.

Change

the

way

the

world

thinks.

Zen Dog Day with my lovely class =)

2007-08-08T22:03:00.000+10:00

I love my class. =)

I swear, oh three oh six should be a sitcom or something. EVERYDAY THERE IS SOMETHING FUNNY. OMG OMG it will be such a dream. Imagine, we're be like Friends-or sth. HAHA. We even have guest appearances like Mr Desai, and constant "Denise"s like: "oh my gosh, i thought that was Mr Veera*zoom in on innocent passerby*" With Seha/YL (I cant remember) quipping almost immediately, "Oh yah, he's walking with Mr Aziz." --btw, I came to realise that Mr Aziz is pretty light hearted with the Mr Carlos joke. =) He's pretty cool.

No serious, I think everyone in our class has a funny character, its hilarious. Those who watched movie today Eepin with his cockroach thing, and today's dead bodies thing; Shuuji-his totality, it's just shuuji, no other word haha; Seha-with her comments that are really funny!; Samuel-with his "hey hey" thing today, omg you crack me up; Alvin and Joel just being themselves, Joel being the typical american guy and who wishes to be the guy in Disturbia for oh-you-know-what-reasons (haha); Denise, oh what can i say =); Eugene, with his serious self, but funny-serious; Pokiat, ALWAYS am-qionging, yes we know your secrets! (the ppl who went for disturbia)

Anyways, today was a rare day for our class!

Had our national day celebrations and I got so happy cos' got tatoos! And yeaps juniors first project =) Kudos to the emcees! =) Go Michael! I love your PCK rendition! 31st! Proud to see them complete their first project. Gosh! I'm so happy to have been able to hang out with the 30th, =) that was a heartwarming moment. =) YAY.

Almost the WHOLE CLASS WENT TO PIZZA HUT IN PS TO EAT! =) Am so happy! Thanks guys for waiting for me finish mass dancing and cheering haha. =) It's really heartwarming cos' we're spending quality class time, I mean, its eating, who dosen't bond over food. PLUS, it signified the end of my misery: both my cough and the wait to eat the cheese pizza. muhahaha. After that, we watched Disturbia. IT S SO STRESSFUL. but its okay, cos' Shia LaBeouf is in it. Gosh I have became a fan of his great acting. SERIOUSLY, look at this, I dont even recognised him from Charlie's Angels and IROBOT. Its so scary. Kudos to great acting man. He started acting so young too! He acted really well in the Emergency Room (search youtube) and truly, wow!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RseJIbGAIwk&mode=related&search=
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TIhYWr7nvhA

Anyways, Disturbia is pretty good. Though I spent most of my time hiding comfortably behind my hands. HAHA. Thank God for Denise, cos we're alike in the movie. Seha was being the usual her by watching it happily. EVERYONE SHOULD GO WATCH IT THOUGH.

Today is totally characterised by the EDWARD MONKTON PIC: Ultimately Zen Dog-ish.

It ended with watching brainless shows cos' I watched a stressful movie in the afternoon. HAHA, I just HAD to watch ellen for my disturbia-stress relief.

yes, total zen dog.

*Funny quips of the day from lovelies. I may get the lines wrong but the gist is there.

1. Mr Titan Episode
Eepin: Whoa, the bodies so scary man.. oh no.
Shuuji/someone: EH EEPIN, why you like that!!
Someone: YAH LOR, you're Mr Titan leh!
(Whole class LAUGHS and realise we were the only ones left in the theatre)

2. "You're a Man now"
(While watching Disturbia)
Joel: *gets excited and bobs in his seat* OH MY GOD SHE IS SO HOT.
Eepin: Yah man! Shuuji, quick say she's hot.
Shuuji: Yah I think she is hot
Either one of them: OMG You're a man now.

3. Eepin and Pokiat Scandal
They actually held hands so that Shuuji will give them 7.50.
Gosh.
Right through MRT and all.

I can't rmb all the jokes but seriously, a day in 03/06 is like a say in a sitcom. Whoopee.

A tablet story

2007-08-04T22:40:00.000+10:00

See! I am not even thinking straight. I HATE IT! I HATE BEING SICK. Why?

COS STEPHANIE IS SO NOT AT COUNCIL DAY BBQ ORGANISED BY THE 28th!

Courtesy of Edward Monkton! Please do view his works at http://www.edwardmonkton.com/

Sigh- I want to be at the bbq... miss catching up with the 30th and having a good talk with the juniors. I hate coughs- Now I have to eat some disgusting medicine cos' I went to a clinic that was not a usual one, and they prescribed me amoxylin again, which is the antibiotic that I took before. Weh, no joke, when i went to my clinic, they prescribed me super stong anti biotic that costs alot =( cos' the doctor was like, wah you take so many courses already.

I think I better not get sick anymore-- Must eat fruits everyday everyone! Or else your clinic will not have enough anti-biotics for you!

Sigh.

Anyways, school this week has been pretty fun! Loads of laughther in Mr Desai's class as usual and all the weird stuff we do together as a class. Our class passes around paper during lecture (sorry to any lectureres that chance upon this). Esther and Yong long started a note asking the rest of the class what questions they dunno for chemistry. Turned out it was totally defaced by everyone else and joel's incessant want to eat Blackboard. Samuel's OCD surfaced too, when he whipped out, almost professionally, a pair of scissors to cut a rectangle of the blackboard that I drew, and really made a black board! hahaha. Stupid Yong Long went to crush it after that. HELLO? Its called you could have passed it to Stephanie cos' she keeps all this nonsense stuff from school. HAHA.

I want to get David Garrett's CD!

Prelims oh prelims.

Good luck studying everyone =) Stay healthy guys!

*Shout to Lizzy Tan: Gosh, I missed the KC days =) Nice meeting you dear!

RAHH-- Life's just dandy.

2007-07-28T22:41:00.001+10:00

Goodness, typing a blog post seems likes sin#145 in the mugger book.

ITS BEEN AGES SINCE I VE BLOGGED.

Been catching up--barely reaching standards, been doing the IS---shivers in fear and tiredness, been going to school and =D

Been to dim sum dollies =) like last last week. Singapore history re-told in a funny way, indeed nice! =) Thanks to Mel who got us great seats! Dim Sum Dollies is a MUST CATCH. After that SAMS went for supper at my place, OLD AIR PORT ROAD. I swear old air port food rocks so so so so much. I just ate Blanco food court kway chap with mom today after queueing for 45 mins or so --- YUMS. Seriously, anyone who wants good and cheap food, head to old airportttt =)

Anyways, yesterday we celebrated limin's birthday =) We went to sakae and ended up ordering so much food =) the cheese chicken katsu thing is a must try, though japanese food is best eaten in Japan man.

I just realised what a kid I am inside. I realised I super uberly, duperly, zuperly, love edward monkton's works. THEY ARE TERRIBLY CUTE AND TRUE AND ALSO PHILOSOPHICAL(k, its my philosophy lah, hoho.). hahaha. http://www.edwardmonkton.com/

=) They jsut brighten up my days I swear. II know its not entirely philosophical haha-i would probably fail KI if I thought entirely so [btw, Ki-Simulacra lesson: South park and the War of the Worlds-- GO WATCH IT. ITS SUPER FUNNY!]

was at ig's heaven yesterday ogling at the wallets and keychains and all just to see his works! CUTE =) and oh yes, HOW TRUE ARE THEY. I lvoe the chocolate one. hurhur.

They remind me of the children I see every Saturday at Kids read. Theya re super cuteeee! HAha me, Ming Wang, Anurad will all agree on this one, Zhi yi is just too cute! She's only 5, but she loves to read and she's so well-behaved. The rest like Zheng Hua and Chang Jin are so naughty! But they are so fun to play with sometimes. This Chang Jin went to Jurong library and instead of watching the videos for them, ended up going to the toilet ( which i had to follow) and played hide and seek with me using the SHELVES. Haha. So funny, however mischeivious he is. Oh man, i love looking at the children interact and play, it's so nice to jsut be angry when you want to, scream and shout if you're happy, and just say stuff and awe at nature. On the bus to jurong library last week ,when it started to rain, Brian and Shaun started sqealing at how cool the rain is when it pelted down the windows of the big bus.

"WHOA, got RAIN LEH. SO COOL MAN."

"YAH.. SEE SEE ITS AT MY HAND!"

And on the way back, when we were passing the Esplanade and floating stadium guess what happened to the girls.

"WHOA, ITS THE DURIAN DURIAN!!!"--nudges me happily--"DURIAN LEHHH"

-Starts singing national anthem.

and mind you, its like 3 or four of them that started doing that.

How cute is that! Super funny the three of us started laughing. FYI, its in caps, cos THAT S HOW LOUD THEY SPEAk. Like today, when Nabila asked them to say hello to me, they were like HELLO STEPHANIE! haha. That was enough to clear my IS blues. =)

Its' nice to be a kid again. I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA:

eat donuts. watch ellen show. play with kites outside my house before construction starts. play with sand castles. and and and and- i cant wait to go botanical gardens with the kids =) though i think its going to be a night mare for the facils.

I don't want to grow up. =(

All in all, its like 5 weeks to the A levels and the teachers have been droning that.

[random Mr Desai quote that made our whole class laugh:

"eh, you can get E in preliims but get A in A levels in the end."

Class: --whoa...--

"yah, I will be VERY PLEASED you know, yes, though a LITTLE BIT shocked, but yes, VERY PLEASED."

Class: HAHAHA.]

Guess we'll ll survive someway or another,

*courtesy of esplanade art works.

Love Song for A Saviour

2007-07-08T15:28:00.001+10:00

Gosh- I had one of the longest Saturdays yesterday =) Which I particularly won't forget!

Went for KidsRead in the morning, then to Church for Youth Rally preparation for the Con3s, then for the night rally =) And then TRANSFORMERS midnight movie! Gosh! I finally watched it!

AND TRANSFORMERS IS GOODDD! So happy! =) I just watced the 2-D type cartoons on Kids central- I'm in love with Prime and Bumblebee =) HAHA. I guessed it was till a fundamentally guy type movie with all its "clang-clang-clang" graphics and all teh airplanes, which Justin and Joel will go crazy over. But it caught everyone cos' of its emotional bit, it was smart of Bay to inject loads of personality in the autobots and stuff, and processed it through the nuance of their language and movements. YAY- I love old cartoons. They are so much nicer to watch!

Archdiocesan Youth Rally
Rocks =)

Super glad things turned out a certain way, although I was mulling over the fact that I missed out the whole day to do work and study, it would not have worked out any other way. =)

empower me.

In open fields of wild flowers,she breathes the air and flies away

She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the rosesin no simple language

Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips

Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call her and she will come runningand fall in His arms

and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best

The sermon echoes through the walls

A great salvation through it calls to the people

who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips

Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call us and we will come runningand fall in His arms

and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",

Not close enough to call you "God"

So as I sit and think of words I can mentionto show my devotion..

First few days of school term 3

2007-07-05T00:46:00.000+10:00

And some how, yin and yang can seriously co-exist. Everyone in 03/06 is still as happy and bubby as ever, amid the gloomy exam returns ( half happy half not so)

Photo-blogging today:

On Monday (youth day holiday) : ULTIMATE BUMMING AROUND AT MEL's HOUSE. GOod food, great company. =) Abby and I ended up playing games online including nanny mania and this mystery thing that s super scary! And I slept! How piggy. Had dinner out-

Tuesday was half day! Spent Mac-breakfasting with 03/06 =)) Loves!

Wednesday: Was our photo taking day! I swear, our class never had so much fun photo taking before, it was great camaraderie. Some quotes and quips when all of us were squeezed onto a bench taking really "tasteful" shots by this really patient team of photographers.

Some: "eh, very hot, very hot, argg..."

Dunno which guy: I know its me, sorry sorry

Joel: Stop it lah! You're cooling all of us down!

And Alvin! SMILEEEE! He's so funny. Cos' everytime the camera is taking a shot, he dosen't smile, but smiles immediately after that.

Then we went for this stress management talk at lt3, where the guy ended up talking mostly about his army experience. He asked: What is stress? Can any one answer? Shuuji (almost instantaneously): Pimples. Shuuji Shuuji. How boring our class will be without you.

Love 03/06. =))

And after that, we had council photo taking, where Stephanie happily lost her bag of stuff again. Thank God I met Uncle Sunny my saviour! =)

Life's ironic. I still believe in that. But therein lies its innermost beauty--- the collision of extremes, the existence of opposites, the harmony. =)

"Life's like that"

HAPPINESS IN A NIGHT

2007-07-02T02:17:00.000+10:00

STEPHANIE IS THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN SUNTEC/CITYHALL/RAFFLES PLACE TODAY!

Us in the queue!

Shalk and the boxes of donuts!

RAHHH. I MANAGED TO GET DONUTS FROM DONUT FACTORY!

YAY! I swear its like a dream come true! I've been wanting to eat it since God knows when, hmmm, the donut drive I organised with Ben and ah boon kia last last month! GOSH. Donut factory, you elusive one. The queues just turn me off man-- thank God I managed to get donuts, together with the rest of the councillors(for each other and their families) in 15 minutes queue time at Suntec. It was not that long cos' we figured that its a new outlet. Thanks to Justin for distrusting me that it was not open and the queues will be long anyway. HAHA, you can see Shaik carrying boxes of donuts!

It's too surreal. I can't believe I've got a box and savoured it! It s only nice when its hot, and turnes out, it looks prettier than it tastes. But oh wells-- I AM STILL SO HAPPY. What a dream come true!!! Been dying to taste it. Next goal: KRISPY KREMES! Wanted to try them in Tokyo but had no time, never mind, Jakarta sells it!

YAY-- Tonight I'll have such lovely dreams of donuts. OMG OMG OMG I'm so happy.

Anyways, Council Chill out today rocks!

First, we met up for dinner which only me, Cheryl, Natha and Justin turned up for, ate at Sub way, then we met up with the rest after the donut factory line up! We wanted to sit and chill out TCC after that, but Shaik suggested Minds Cafe at Clark Quay-- so we walked all the way there! Was quite long but it was worth it-- we ended up playing so quite a few games and it was really funny cos' we were all making so much noise and all-- =)))) Tonight was a fun night. Thanks for the company guys!!!!! Love you all loads!

Cheryl and I walking to Minds with Caroline and Rebecca at the back.
Claire and XT trying to be like the two people behind them

The Guys and two girls table, the more violent one!

The ALl girls table! The one that likes tumbling monkeys and animal sounds!

Thank you guys for this wonderful exciting day! =))) FUN!!!

GOsh-- I'm going to bring the donuts to Mel's house tomorrow, KC GATHERING TO STUDY WITH MEL. HAHA. YAY-- I shall bring donuts to feed Mel, Abby, ShuHua, and Elizabeth! =) Loves!

Ahh-- felicity. =)

Simple Parody

2007-07-01T00:53:00.000+10:00

Amazing Sense.

To see a world in a grain of sand

And a heaven in a wild flower,

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand

And eternity in an hour.

William Blake's Auguries of Innocence

*Tune to Maksim's Somewhere in Time. Oh gosh. It's amazing -- clouds. Clouds are different everywhere- I realised that the clouds in Japan and America are similar, how beautiful =)-->Picture: clouds in Japan Odaiba.

Anyways, Just felt like putting that quote there. I felt inspired by that tune by Maksim and I'm doing that for speech and drama this year. You may now start throwing tomatos at Stepahnie not taking literature. Sigh, Economics is great too though, I finally stopped disliking it when I understood the newspaper article on why the US deficit is saving the world economy. HOHO. Economics epiphany.

Today was fun =) Woke up super early to go to NYC to meet the rest. Was earlier than Edmund by a like 2 minutes! HAHA. Not bad lah, his challenge made me wake up, though i still woke up late. Reached there 7 plus and ended up getting loads of buns from 7 eleven with Kok Hwee and Ling. Ling is such an entertainer =) Hopefully her show tonight goes well. Then I spend the day helping out at the stage with Ling. Haha, Angeline, Kok Hwee and I were standing at the booth staring at the DS lite- haha, too bad Angeline did not win it. OH, and we ended up playing this Raving RAbbit thing I still dunno its name, but its a super cute, yet sadistic game after our duties. Super funny. I wanted to play gears of war, but got alot of pro people around and they were playing a multi game---hoho, i ll never forget my first gears of war game at Nabil's house. Today was fun! =)

Tomorrow's going to be so cool: I cant wait! Council Gathering! =)))))) WE are so going to go chill out-- though apparently the guys dun wanna go TCC. BUT WHYY. Sigh. They all want to sit around and say how good transformers is I know. HAHA jkjk dears.

Sakae Budds

2007-06-30T01:22:00.000+10:00

Sakae! =)

Pigging out, shopping, ultimate sales, shoe buying ( yes, i finally can go running), camaraderie, friends, and loads of laughter.

We finally have a sakae renuion since after Orientation lah! =) YAY!!

I am going to embarass my best friend here.

Her name is Abby Han: And she looks like this when she's cutting her hair (Picture courtesy of Melaniee!)

*I took the better one of the two already abby.

Thanks to Abby, Mel and Shu Hua for making this day a highly special one! Especially to hua hua! I missed you so girl-- must must must meet up more often. Enjoyed our chats on life and council and all and KC, during our trip back to school. =) I love you for who you are! =) (plus your jokes: "what did the boy say to the tree" jokes, and our "ham"some nonsense)

I tell you laughing with your stomach full of food is superbly painful.

The world is so small! It's a delightful surprise to see Wei En at NYC helping out too- and to see Nana at the Orchard Bus-stop where she comtemplated to but this sesame street book: don't worry Nana, one day we may come across it again!

Can't wait for tomorrow, got to wake up super early now, cos' Edmund wants to see who reaches NYC first. That's unfair leh-- I wanted to go at 7.30 am with the no-breakfast option. Hahah. But going there early is better any how.

Got to sleep-- toodles~

PS: I just watched Ghost Whisperer and I LOVE SUPER NANNY!

YAY. Stephanie muses-- a MONTH's LONG list of happenings.

2007-06-29T01:07:00.000+10:00

WHEE.

I am currently resting on my bed, with my lap top on a table close to my bed(something like the hospital kind muhahah), sitting on my SUPER BRUISED Left butt, drying my hair, and using the conventional square fans instead of the lovely rectangular air con cos' "GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL". Mel and er Jie will be so proud. Come to think about it, it is really true you know. Went for some environmental seminar at NUS before, its so sad how the world is dying at least due to Singapore cos' people refuse to bring their own plastic bags.

K lah. I'm also guilty of it. That's why we gotta change everyone! Do you know how much change we can make, if we first change our actions, then influence others, and if one friend influences 3 friends, we can reach many many people! =D

Anyways, There is so much I want to blog about but just haven't found the time to cos' after the Japan trip I just majorly freaked out over my JCTS and went into Kallang Macdonalds' Studying Week where I could almost do a SUPER SIZE ME/STEPHANIE documentary, it's sad. I'll just blog about the recent happenings first before my brain stores it in hidden memory.

FYI: Hidden memory is a condition I call when you're going through life and all these nice and memorable stuff happen to you, but you just forget and kinda remember it only after a looongg time.

JCTS ARE OVER

Well in some sense, who would'nt be happy? Spent the day today having speech and drama and chilling out at parkway after the Chem paper. I guess JCTs was such a horrible experience, i must say, even most than any other paper I've taken, especially the mathematics paper, its so scary cos' I had this huge brain block. Sigh. It's saddening but yet, I realised, it is my wake up call from God to have a solid study plan, to gain confidence in maths and all and start my engine to the A levels.

I guess it's really sad when you realise that students like us are trapped in this academic continuum. Er Jie said :"You don't feel so sad about your jcts lah, at least you can feel sad for it. Look at Thaddeus(the RJ runner who passed away very sadly), he don't even have a chance to". IN other words, look at the big picture.Another typical case of "I wept when I had no shoes, until I saw a man with no legs". I agree, life is more than studies, more than everything else that you can think of, in fact, so much more than blogging.

But hey, can we actually step out of this rat race and say, I realise that life is more than studies, and I am going to live life to the fullest by merely doing what I like? I am not saying it is impossible, in fact, with the growing creativity and independence of Youths in making their decisions today, it's hihgly probable. Personally, I feel like students alike me, are like pushed by this invisble wave, into a routine of things that happen one after another, your first 10 years of academic life is planned for you, and at the 7th year, you are pressured in making your career path and study for it. And not only that, you can't just hop on the wave and move along, you acutally got to swim. You got to swim and not just tread waters and believe that a float is there to save you. You got to work it out, stay above the surfact, and in a situation that your best is never enough for others, except yourself anf God and perhaps a few friends, it really makes me wonder: If this week was one of the last weeks of my life, would I be living it this way? (Steve Jobs-concept) Most times, the answer for me is no. I rather spend my days with the people I love, with my family, friends and nature and just embracing the world for it. OH not forgetting, savouring all the lovely food in the world. Sigh- too bad, I'm caught in the drift of things. And realistically speaking, we all need that degree and diploma and honours as a platform to do greater things with our life.

OH, life.

Bad luck. Bad Fall.

I tell you Stephanie is just destined to meet with unglam, painful and bad-luck situations to make her life more exciting and interesting than it already is.

Happily, after a whole day of studying with Mel and Abby at my house eating the 933 Golden pillow(we have yet to figure out how they put the chicken curry inside the pillow of bread and the plastic bag of curry in the bread makes us scared of what we are eating) and having bought ice cream fromt he ice cream man and taking a walk around kallang river(canal) and sharing and talking and *gulP* studying only 70% of the time, instead of 100%, the night ended with me sending them off downstairs my house, and us realising that there was a cup of chocolate ice cream that was melting on the stair way. Being typical humans, we were like EEEE, so disgusting, don't step don't step. And life went on as usual.

The next morning of my Econs and Mathematics paper. I set off for school early, with my sister, hoping to catch a new early bus ride to boht of our schools and do some last minute mugging. On the stair way, I was walking in front first, and er jie was wlking behind. And as I was approaching that fateful step of ice cram cup of overnight chocolate ice cream, I was packing my bag and zipping it up and I heard, like everything simultaneously, Er jie saying "eh girl, careful...----" and before I knew it, I slipped 5 flights of stairs with that stupid chocolate ice cream all over my skirt and bag and hands and what not. I was like AHHHHH. (my notes! my skirt my bag!--and fyi, not the pain)

I went hysterical and ran up to my house to change my skirt and all. And went to school in a sad yet angry manner. I was really pissed off with the guy who left it there- and I learnt one important lesson. Yes, it was his inconsiderate act of leaving it there, but I could have prevented it by throwing it away the night before. the next time I see something hazardous to anyone that crosses my path, i will throw it away. I think you should too. You know why?

Plus, one near my knee and thigh, one on my hand and this bruise, is the reddest, biggest, and scariest bruise i've ever in my life nursed. It's 12 cm long. HAHA. Yes, you are going to think I'm crazy enough to see how long is it. The best thing, my sister said that I should not rub it, cos' her doctor friend said that it is a myth that rubbing it helps-- rubing it actually spreads the clot else where and does not help any way cos the clots are there. (any one care to refute?) I'm not sure, but I'm shelving the rubbing option, T'is too painful for me to bear. Plus, my sister added that, she saw me fell so hard, and it was the bag that protected me. Thank god for think math notes in my bag. The bag that kena-ded the chocolate ice cream. I washed the ice cream off my bag but had no choice ot bring it to school cos' of my lack of othr alternatives. Shuuji said the funnist thing for the day.

Shuuji, walking to hall for math paper: " omg, i think I'm going crazy, I smell chocolate! Ahh I m going mad."

Steph: "SHUUJI, it's me. i got choclate ice cream all over me this morning."

Arg. At least I told him, alter he reallt hink he's mad, not that he isn't any how. HAHA. Our whole class is mad in their own funny way. =D haha.

So yes, moral of the story, never leave chocolate ice cream cups around, and clear them up if you see them, especially, just before economics jcts.

Only this kind of thing happen to me lor. Seriously.

First time seeing 31st pull flag on Wednesday

=) I felt so surreal and in some sense, hopeful for the juniors. It's the first time I saw them pull the flag but it meant so much more to me than just a flag ceremony. It meant that the 30th's journey was completed and we successfull handed over. Oh plus, tt's so uncanny, seeing all of us not wear our council badge--all of us-- without prior agreement of sorts, you may think, duh, we are no longer councilors, why wear the badge hao lian? Badges are never about hao-lianing or showing authority, at least to me. I've always worn this quote on my heart, instead of a metallic badge, "If who you are is what you have, and what yo have is lost, then who are you?". Badges show, but they don't connect. To me, the whole-us not wearing badges altogethe thing made me feel happy, that we have ended this, and we have walked this road together to the end and tried to do the best we could for the school. Of course, at least for me, I defintely feel like I could do better and I would have done so many other stuff and took risks that I would not have. But I guess, people only say they could have done better given the gift of hindsight. Perfection is easy on the mind, but not in reality. Any how, I still thank God for bringing me through this experience, good and bad times, mistakes and what not. For it would not have happened nother way, given any other 2007s. I lived it with no regrets =) And, to the fullest.

And defintely, not alone. =) 30th!!! I love you guys to tiny winy bits. The affirmations to one another and the friendship and love and care and and and.. oh man. OH, the TCC sessions and chill out sessions. It really made the council journey such a unforgetable one. =) You guys taught me to love, to care and to affirm. You guys taught me that goodness in you-- the quality that shines in you and made me realise how special everyone is. You guys guided me, and helped me become who I am today( HAHA, more violent.--jkjk) And yeaps, I really don't know what to say about how you all touched my heart so much, and that I feel saying more and blogging it out only serve to dilute the meaning of my words to you. yah, if I go on, you guys will say i'm nagging! haha!

Thank you so much-- I would use another stronger word for "thank you" but there isn't one I know of. =) The council journey with all of you is unforgettable, undellible, understood purely by heart=)

To the 31st:

I've said enough already- =)

You guys have the potential to do well yah, never not believe in that. And as I have always said, our success if when you guys succeed us. Council is never about self-fulfilment, always keeps the high ball in sight, keeping in line your commitment to the school and your fellow peers in TJ. Never lose faith in what you believe and live each day as if its the last. Carpe diem. That entails you making critical and key, calculated risk-type decisions for how to serve the school. But beyond all the administrative and manual work, never forget that be it council, school, tj, think family and trust me, you'll see lovely things to come. And yah, remember my challenge to you guys during council camp--whether you could truly feel love for TJ. Why is that any where near relevant? (tsk, people might even scoff at this mere notion) Thing is, if you don't even feel any need/drive/want that will stem from appreciating the school for what it is, then the only service rendered is lip and manual service- mind me, it could be just my perception of things.

Define yourself and realise your greatest potential-- =) All the best on your council term ahead and PS: I LOVE YOU GUYS. =D

Oh, and a special shout out to Joshuaaaaaaa! =D

All the best! =) Am very hopeful of what you can be and what great things you can achieve. Thanks for the wisdom of penguins book =)

Gosh my shoulders and eyes {OMG speaking of eyes, my eye sight detoriated in like 1 month! Its 150 deg on my left eye. IT USED TO BE 6/6 6/6 on both eyes!---take care fo your eyes guys! Going to get specs =((((((} are aching. And the fan which is blowing my over heated lap top and me doesn't seem sufficently cooling lest I turn my laptop off.

Blog on Japan another day! =) Haven't uploaded the pics!

I CANT WAIT FOR TOMORROW. Abigail, SHU HUA and I and not forgetting our newest addition, Mel are going for our SAKAE BUFFET. The best thing of this, is that me, abby and shu hua planned this sakae renuion for like 6 months already, after Orientation. But things just started piling it's crazy. Plus meeting tomorrow for the SHINE event on Saturday! Excited! =D

its finally gone and i can finally blog.

2007-06-28T19:31:00.000+10:00

YAY!

Though in that BIG EXUBERANT YAY, lies a long and droning ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. (it can go on forever.)

Now at abby's house waiting to go speech and drama feeding on dried seaweed ( gosh i feel like I'm stuck on an island.) And she's chasing me to go off soon cos' Mel's going to speech and drama centre already.

AHH There's so much I want to talk about-- still haven't finished on Japan, the SUPER SIZE ME- entire week at Kallang Macs thereafter, and the horrid JCTS. PLUS the super big fall I had the morning of my econs' paper- AND, all the crazy study sessions Mel and Abby had at my house and the golden pillow feast haha. AND stupid abigail destroying my sacred bed!

AND my epiphany of economics! hahah.

Gosh. I've got to go: need to go for excitng speech and drama, looking forward to exciting dinner and more rubbish-ness in class, and possible settlers! Whee.

Blog later.

toodles.

PS: I've been wanting to change my blog skin lah- arg. Techonology is killing me.

Surreality

2007-06-10T18:43:00.000+10:00

Amazing how life brings you round and about!

Ho-hum.. =) *Sits and stare into space and marvels at what's happening right now*
I'm sitting comfortably on the couch of my da jie's and jie fu's house, watching their wedding videos on her mac, and multi-tasking by blogging (sheaves a sigh of relief at the power of technology). All this done in JAPAN TOKYO.

From Singapore, to plane, to Japan Airport to SHIBUYA.=D

Seriously, some one slapppp meeee.

Why surreal?

I guess it was that dreamy for me because I had COUNCIL HANDOVER on that day itself too!

Saturday Morning

Thanks to dear Cheryl who called me in the morning to wake me up, I actually reached Harbour Front pretty much on time. =D Wheee! T'was 7.45 am okay, it's unhuman! Anyways, the dear juniors were early! =) Proud of you guys! haha. We waited for some 30th and 31st and then headed to Vivo to take the monorail to Sentosa dunno-what beach.

From Vivo to the super cool monorail to the BEACH. Gosh I was like a tourist in Sentosa-- "Whoa, I think Singapore is doing such a good job with the beaches and all-- its like malibu!"-Steph "Duh, the IR is coming mah"-Joel. -___-

But really, the beach is fantastic--be it fantastically man made or fantastically nice for swimming =)) or tanning. or just hanging out, OR, for the 31sy handover. =)))

I was super happy cos' I could get a tan-- but silly me did not put suntan lotion. My sisters are freaking out over my face and have coerced me to get facial products from Japan. Oh wells- I spent my time in Sentosa looking at the juniors playing their games, swimming and floating around in the water, wading in the sea ---getting a taannnn! *See my pre-beach and post-beach photos! At least I can go Japan with a tan.

So after that the 30th went back early to prepare the room to hand over. I went back home to pack my stuff for Japan and all- and went back to school in the end. I was soooo sad when i had to leave early and not stay for the full handover ceremony (30/31 PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED) and yeaps- more sad because I was not able to give Joshua his present personally. I loved making his present--so fun! JOSH! I hope you like it!

ahh gotta go dinner. blog next part later.

JAPAN HAS SUPER GOOD FOOD.

yay!

what a whirl- Tis is complete.

2007-06-06T02:58:00.000+10:00

my mind is in such a whirl pool i cant stop its thoughts from overflowing and spilling over this screen.

so many things happened in the past say-- ONE MONTH!?! gosh. I was really quite inactive. well- shuuji! poisson distribution! haha.

I shall try to organise my thoughts into compartments-- note the word try.

today:
- I watched Nanny 911-- gosh, it is really quite amazing.=)
- After that, arts central kept playing on my screen and guess what, with the musical jargons and what nots of rannald, it was the berlin philhamonic playing. Apparently its the best-- not that i have the God given musical ears to savour every bit of musical nuance. But tis was nice. =) I liked Anitra's Dance from the Peer Gynt Suite by Peter Grieg. (got that from Rannald too)
- went for speech and drama =) and I really love my Shirley Valentine piece-- will blog more about it =) Speech today was a typical-hit-in-the-face-lets-reflect-now for me too.

speaking of music..
- me and abby met up to watch the chamber ensemble concert that day. haha. I met up with the class guys (Shuujs, Sammy, Bong and Kevin) who are totally SLOW- I meant it in terms of walking. It was quite funny. I never felt myself move around at that speed with friends. Anyway, we bought like many many flowers for Jensen and Rannald. When we made our way there everything--- the programme booklet that we received had Jensen's name on every item! In Shuuji's words "It was the Jensen's concert". Throughout the thing I bet all of us from 03/06 wished we were as talented as him.

After that I kinda had to leave the concert half way cos' silly Stephanie arranged with her sister to watch SRT's MDSD. It was a totally different interpretation from our school's one (which I enjoyed very much). The fairies/faeries were the typical/mainstream interpretation, clean, white and demure. I much preferred our school's nature, wild-like, more literary interpretation. Yayness. Went with Er Jie, Gus and Hadil-- haha I'll never forget what funny thing happened that day.

so there was the arts. Then there was sports.
-More like an event. Shout out to Justin Boon KIA HENG and BenTEE =) Thanks for being my donut-crusaders, my SDSC partners, my group mates for this action research thing. WHAT AN EXPERIENCE.

Seriously. Througout the period of planning for the SDSC talks and Wheel chair events, added on alot of weight to the Investiture, and Guitar Emceeing to do (Shout out to apple: thanks for being YOU. I'll never forget you-- ~~la-ku-cah-rah-cha.~~ and Wilson! Our friendly back stage friend. and Jeremy Pramudita-->We like pronoucing your name haha). Oh and how can I forget dear Zhi Yuan for helping us out too! Gotta start work again in collection of the donation cards-- please donate generously haha!

In some ways, this SDSC experience did teach me alot. It taught me, in a very focused and intensed way, time management and decision making. Truly, innovation is not easy man. Up till now I still feel bit puzzled at Donut Factory's success. Proves to me that business definitely needs some luck here and there. Also, it thought me that donuts are really quite easy to sell. HAHA. Thanks to all the councillors who bought the donuts at Justin's stayover.... which brings me to..

Justin's House Council Stayover.(after investiture, before sports carn)
Anyways, Justin's house council stayover was funn!

Xiang Ting and I had tuition before that, so we cabbed down from Orchard to Bedok. But before that, clever Stephanie had to go pick up 100 donuts from the Donut House at Takashimaya. It was 4 bags of heavy donuts. And guess what, I carried it from Taka all the way to Centre Point where Xiangting helped me thereafter(whew). I looked like a mad auntie who's in love with donuts can. It was embarassing. Imagine crossing the road with that haha.

We had massage chair for us to use, Dota to play(first time playing DOTA was qutie fun-- thanks Aaron, Justin and YL for being so patient with me HAHA.), mahjong, cards and a DVD player with no sound cept for back ground sounds. DOA (Dead or Alive) was playing on the TV after "a walk to remember" but we could only hear the kicks and punches and NO WORDS. haha. We then awoke to a clear sunny day for our sports carnival =) where we won tug of war for clubs and societies and got ourselves vouchers! Yay!

I think there was alot of more happening-- but somehow it just faded into hidden memory-- arg. lazy to type also.

Will continue on the next entry-- :)

P.S: Samuel did this wall paper for me last night. Twas' Totally Funny. =) Thanks! Play 7 Hand poker soon!

365 days in a blog post.

2007-05-04T00:16:00.000+10:00

I still love the song "Seasons of love". It's from the movie RENT and I absolutely love that musical. Too bad this song is just so over-played and listened to with no context in which it was sang from.

Let me tell you the rough context before you listen to it like the next hit on class 95.

It is a story about a group of people living in America, poor, unable to pay rent (literally). The group of people consists of people from all walks of life(mainly those stigmatised groups): they are AIDS, a couple's lesbian, another is gay, one of them do drugs, and the like. Because of AIDS, all of them are in some sense, paying "rent" to stay alive. AS the story progresses, it's really beautiful cos' they learn to just dwell in love and friendship, living life to the fullest. It's amazing--cos they understand each other, saying stuff like "I have baggage too." and supporting each other. If you have a chance to loan the DVD, watch it ya? And call me along haha.

This is it's opening theme. The Lyrics are wonderful and very very very gripping.

Take a watch =) [i love this scene cos' most of them are from the original broadway cast!]
http://youtube.com/watch?v=x8iTeDl_Wug
I'll cover you: (It's a really sad song on how much this guy loved "her": http://youtube.com/watch?v=eoWk1qzQjWA&mode=related&search=)

Anyways,

How can you measure 365 days in a life? The song truly puts it aptly, measure in love. =)

Okay, now that song is just replaying replaying replaying in the back ground. AHHH. It's too nice.

I'm just going to compress whatever I have felt the whole time I was on hiatus in a short post (the 30th will cringe whenever I say short cos' my "short" is their very "long"---haha 30th! I know I'm longwinded lah!)

On 30th:
Bittersweet.
I think it's only when it's ending when you realise you even began.
It's the kind of feeling in your mouth when you pop in 70%cocao or the dark chocolate DARS series from 7-11, or the coffee that turned rancid, or watching a tear-jerker: loving the scenes but not understanding the tears, or bursting bubbles you blow out of the conventional container and stick thing...

Can you believe it? I can, it already registered in my head, but not my heart.

On 0hthree0hsix:
MUHAHA. SHuuji's been faithful at blogging. I realise our class super rubbish. All the funny things we say. Mr Desai, and all. =) It's so theraputic being in 03/06. haha. And oh yes, congrats EEPIN for winning the match and for leaving your victory marks on my diary.
And yes, sorry bong for not been saving. To sammy: i swear you make me think giraffes everytime i see you!

On life:
=D Been busy but am enjoying every moment. =)

shout outs:
1. to all the seniors from previous councils to come down to camp fire! Great seeing you all. and to edmund and mervyn for coming for the council workshop! and to edmund for agreeing to help me last minute! (haha.)

2. to abbyhan, for being that listening ear that saturday when i really really really needed someone to lean on. rare gem you are dear. AND for your yummilicious mac and cheese and bacon bits pasta today. RAH! love ya.

3. to SAMS. for always being there on thursday to spend speech and drama and dinner together. =)

4. to my mom! happy birthday mommy!

5. to my er jie: for being so sweet and coming into my room to check on me and end up killing this huge black cockroach that was on my wall when i was half dead after council camp.

6. to the 30th: for being who you are. and to rebby: for being my listening ear!

7. to 03/06 for ALWAYS making my laugh some how.

8. to people around me: for being in my life!

Coffee!! Here I come!

PS: Shuuji! I finally blogged! poisson distribution! wahaha.

Give me the other world.

2007-04-08T02:55:00.000+10:00

turn off the tv, exit the theatre, close that book-- let's get yanked back to reality.

Honestly, that was exactly what I felt, after watching a walk to remember( shane west is =)), after enjoying titoudao, after closing my john c maxwell book cos' I had to return it to the NLB.

Reality check. It almost sounds boring. Something expected... compounded by some negativity and cynicism of the future. Take "A walk to remember" for instance. I mean, after the movie--the best tear jerker!-- one would immediately return to the workdesk and say, oh gosh, i can't believe my two hours was that. And spend 90% of the time thinking of the movie, 5% thinking it will never happen, and the other 5% stressing over whatever in Singapore life stresses you. Then about half an hour later, when one hath breathed in enough "reality" its 100% work stress, or rather, 100% reality, whatever your reality consists of. Your brain immediately dismisses that half hour as "wishful thinking".

Reality check. Almost painful actually. In all honestly, how much of what I am doing now is "living life to the fullest", "carpe diem"? I still will faithfully remember Rosalyn's sharing at Bible study: "If I get cancer, I'll be very happy. Cos' the run-out date is out. I know how long more do I have to enjoy. If you live life like this, normally, will you know when you die? No what. Maybe tomorrow, so mysterious." Maybe that's why a walk to remember is more than a sappy love story. But honestly, I live by that. I think its such a powerful notion, looking at cancer as a expiry date shown to you, privileged, in a beautiful manner.

I chanced upon a $10000 note today at the bank. It was 2-2.5 bigger then a 2 dollar note, and at the back, it had "economics" as its theme. And guess what I saw, benzene rings and chemical equations. I placed my finger on it, as though the visual impact of it could not be enough to convince me. It was like chemistry notes on a really valuable piece of paper.

Honestly,

Will knowing benzene rings make me a better person?

Give me some other world.

Take, click, gulp.

2007-04-04T02:02:00.000+10:00

That was what I did 2 minutes ago.

I just typed finished my emails.
I walked to the kitchen.
I opened the door of the refrigerator.
Reached for the can of Nescafe.
Opened it.
Took 8 gulps.
And threw the can.

Crossing my fingers for a energised night/day ahead.

Hah. It looks vaguely like a poem.

Anyways, I have great fun today exploring Punggol MRT station at 8.00 pm whilst making my way to tuition. I swear. It's so ulu. I felt so surreal as I pressed those lift buttons and when down the lifts. It's as though I was in a futuristic setting of FF8 lah. When you direct your RPG characters to press the lift to go up and down.

I thank Abi ( as what our "good" friend calls her) for her sandwiches, her smiles and this:

The more we're flawed the more we need God. Unless we're reduced to nothing only then can God work. Minimise self, maximise God.

Cheers.

TiTOUDAO!

2007-04-01T05:53:00.001+10:00

Whew, I am finally half way done through drafting Monday's meeting agenda and layout and all the ther documents that go with it..

Gosh! Witha funny twist of events, I got to wacth TITOUDAO with Jane.

Sigh, it's pretty sad cos' i missed YC's Back to Childhood Chalet..

But anyways, TITOUDAO is really really really good. I teared at the death of wayang when Pam Oei did the brilliant scene of moving out the stage sets of the wayang.

Will blog more about it in a later post.

Today was such a fulfilling day as I started my day with going to the dentist at Mount Elizabeth for my retainers (which only lasted for 10 mins! -.-) and then I decided to go borders to use vouchers. I stopped by SUN MOULIN at Isetan---- THE STRAWBERRY CREPE IS A MUST TRY. It's only 2.50 but when you eat it, whoa, its soo goood.

Guess what happened when I walked into borders,

I walked straight for about 5 metres and there I saw, on the 3 for 2 section, a whole collection of John C Maxwell books with Zig Ziglar's one together with them. !!!!!! Yayness man.

I ended up buying like 5 books cos one book was a compilation of 3 =) It's so worth it man. I re-bought one of the books, cos' i think I lost it in the council room =(

It's almost like impulsive shopping.

Today was such a "impulsive" day. Jane would defnitely agree. haha.

I guess, its nice to have such days in a while. Seriously. You feel as though the day could not have been better sometimes (though today i miseed the chalet and bbq! =( )

"Now, I will perform the last scene of TiToudao for you, before you all go back into your other world" (or words to the effect)
----Pam Oei as Mdm Chiam, Titoudao.

Theatre is such a holiday.